#MeToo. It’s supposed to make you feel better – make you feel like you’re not alone in this fight. It’s supposed to help you understand empathy, and that thousands of other women have been in your exact same situation… or worse.
And it does, temporarily, but in a paradoxical nature.
I feel more supported knowing that so many other women have experienced sexual assault and that it’s not just me on my own. However, at the same time, I feel less protected knowing that so many other women have experienced sexual assault, that their perpetrators got away with it, and that this culture of misogyny and sexual dominance still thrives in society.
I feel happier knowing that I have other women to go to for support, courage, hope, or just a shoulder to cry on if need be. But I also feel intense rage at the fact that this has become a shared experience by so many within our society. Assault shouldn’t be as prevalent or integral within our culture as our holiday traditions, and yet they are.
I feel sad knowing that people I admired, like Kevin Spacey and Louis CK, have had their legacies ruined due to their past mistakes. But I feel even worse for the women and men that these “mistakes” (or, you know, SEXUAL ASSAULT) were inflicted upon. Then I feel shame for feeling sad about my past idols who deserve no pity.
But the thing I feel most is a pit in my stomach. Not only because of what I’ve experienced – the consistent cat calls, the subtle grab of the ass in a crowded bar, the forced sleepover when I was too drunk to walk home, let alone have sex – but the things my friends and loved ones have experienced.
Although #MeToo and conversations regarding sexual assault are ever so prominent in the media right now, these instances aren’t just happening to celebrities. Sexual assault is happening to your neighbor, classmate, girlfriend, roommate, mother, and daughter.
So when I hear people question, “Why would she even bring that up again? It happened 5, 10, 15, 20 years ago, why is it relevant now?” It’s relevant now because sexual assault is something that stays with you forever. You will never forget the time that you were cornered in a dark alley, exposed to in a park, whistled at while wearing a parka at the mere age of 14, or raped. These conversations can’t end, no matter how many years later, because these monstrosities are still occurring every single day. Instead, we need to be even more persistent about bringing awareness to the issue and educating the public to help change this malevolent pattern in society.
Yes, #MeToo makes me feel supported and no longer alone, but it also frightens me when I see how many other women have had similar experiences. So while I commend the incredible women who started this trend, we need to keep it alive until the culture of our society changes and women no longer have to feel unsafe at their offices, local bars, or even their own front yards.
Yes, #IToo have been sexually assaulted, multiple times throughout my life. But if we unite and use our voices together, we’ll have much more power than we ever would remaining silent. It’s time to stand up. It’s time to use our voices together. It’s time for change.
Images courtesy of: NY Daily News