With Fall semester in full swing, roommate conflicts are bound to happen. Living with other people can be extremely difficult especially when there are differing schedules and upbringings. People clash and that is okay! Whether it was a minor disagreement or a major blow-up fight, I have had my fair share of roommate disagreements throughout my almost four years of college which have taught me a lot about communal life. So, here are 3 things I wish I knew about living and communicating with new roommates before I moved in.
No. 1: Boundaries
One thing I wish I knew was how to set and respect boundaries. I was sharing the same living space, the same bathroom with another person who I was not close with, and that was a very confusing situation to navigate. Having a conversation that sets the room expectations would have helped me express things I otherwise wouldn’t have. For me, setting boundaries and verbally expressing that something is making me uncomfortable or upset is incredibly difficult. I despise confrontation and really struggle to express my thoughts when they may conflict with another person’s idea. But, these things are so important to make sure the space is one where you and your roommate want to be in. My current roommate and I are close because we talked about those boundaries, like how we want our current room setup and when we are okay with people being in the room with us. Overall, I wish I knew how important boundaries are to have, especially when living with people who you have never met before.
No. 2: “Free Will”
Another thing I wish I knew was that “free will” exists. The best way to describe my apartment’s slogan is with how my roommates and I coined our version of the phrase. It was a random Wednesday night in the middle of the 2025 Spring semester. I was rapidly texting my roommates while in my class, telling them to be ready for an adventure to a frozen wonderland when I got out. 9:30 p.m. rolls around, and I am racing home and into the front seat of my car, with my roommates in the other four seats. We pulled into a fro-yo place 10 minutes before closing and it was the most fun I had all semester. When we left, one of my roommates said, “I forgot we had free will and could just go do stuff” and that really stuck with me. I was having a very tough semester and thinking about “free will”, I can take that weight off my shoulders sometimes and do things that are last-minute. Thus, I wish I knew that I could let myself have “free will” and be down to embark on a spontaneous trip, with all the toppings included.
No. 3: Work-Life Balance
The final thing I wish I knew before living with others is how important a work-life balance is. In high school, I felt like I was drowning with my job and school, and never really had the time to hang out with my friends. My social life consisted primarily of FaceTime calls and texting, instead of going out with friends. Now, in college, I live with a group of my best friends while still balancing schoolwork and my two jobs. Activities like watching TV or eating dinner were ways to brighten my day because I got to hang out with friends. I can still do my work and be a good student while having a social life. While school is still my main priority, my relationships have also become important to me since I live with my close friends. Therefore, living with other people has really helped me establish that work-life balance.
Overall, living with other people has been such an amusing learning experience. I feel that it has made me grow into a better person. I have learned a lot about myself and about how to operate with others. This was what I wish I knew before moving in with roommates.