Growing up, Saturdays and Sundays were never really days off. I wasn’t watching cartoons on Saturday mornings or sleeping in on Sundays. Instead, my weekends were packed with Chinese school, dulcimer class, and Chinese ballet on Saturdays, followed by nearly four hours of math at the Russian School of Mathematics on Sundays.
Looking back, I truly admire my parents for investing so profoundly in my education. As an only child, I had the opportunity to take a wide range of classes and learn from so many different people. But those opportunities also instilled in me the idea that if I wasn’t constantly being productive, I was falling behind. From this, I’ve trained my brain to always be in motion — always on.
Now that I’m in college, I’ve started to understand how that mindset shaped me, and soon, I realized that productivity became my comfort zone. Whenever I wasn’t doing something that felt productive, I’d feel this strange sense of guilt, like I owed something to the universe. I felt that guilt building up quickly, especially when I tried to relax.
This article is for anyone who feels the same way. For those who can’t sit still, or mentally run through their to-do lists every hour, and feel anxious without a planner. I want to remind you that rest is not a weakness and very important. Constantly pushing yourself without pause only leads to burnout.
Of course, there are upsides to internalizing a productive mindset. It can build discipline, resilience, and passion. But it should never come at the expense of your mental peace.
Before college, I didn’t even realize weekends could be fun. Now, because I can control my own schedule, I’ve had time to ask myself if this guilt and anxiety is healthy. For my first Sunday with nothing planned, it felt like staring at a blank canvas. I could do whatever I wanted and having that opportunity felt so calming and secure.
Over time, I began keeping Sundays open on purpose. And even on simple days when I just watch a movie, I still sometimes catch myself feeling jittery, thinking about the emails I haven’t sent, the studying I haven’t done, the planner I haven’t organized. But that takes practice and active growth. My Sundays now are more than just free time. They have taught me that structure doesn’t have to mean rigidity. It can also mean intentionally putting aside some time to relax.
Sundays are now my reset button. I sleep in. I spend time with my family, my boyfriend, and my friends. I take long showers, aim for nine to 10 hours of sleep, and I’ve learned to let the day guide me rather than trying to control it. I used to spend Sundays solving math problems. Now, I figure out how many hours of sleep I need to have five REM cycles.Â
If you’re someone who feels anxious when you’re not doing anything, I hope this can be a gentle reminder. Start small. Take one day to slow down. Let go of the pressure of always being productive. Don’t force peace. Let it arrive naturally, in its own time.
I wrote this on a quiet Sunday morning, with a matcha latte in hand and an open heart. Moments like these are my peace. I hope you find yours too.