This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at U Mass Amherst chapter.
Valentine’s Day is kind of a big deal to most girls. Wondering what their guys have up their sleeves and what it will all mean is almost like a crime-solving drama series, trying to determine the motives behind their actions. Generally, a lot of pressure is put on the guy to make a move, no matter what the status of the relationship.
Valentine’s Day can be a pivotal day if you’re in a new relationship, old relationship, or a new “thing” that you may want to make into something more. I generally take a more “meh“-like view toward the holiday and prefer to keep things as simple as possible. But for those go-getters out there, you can use this day as an opportunity to get a message across and can really be used to your advantage. Take the reins and make a move to get what you want.
First, consider what kind of message you’re trying to send. If it’s not a new relationship, maybe you want to say “I love you more every day, and I’m glad to have you by my side.” For those stuck on the fence between being friends and having a label, maybe you’re trying to say something like: “I want to be your girlfriend. Ask. Please.” Or if you’re going the other way over the fence: “I just want to be friends …”
Once you have a vision of your motives, think of how you want the other person to receive this message.
Maybe going to a romantic dinner one-on-one is your way of conveying your seriousness about the relationship (definitely not recommended for the guy you’re friend-zoning). Treating your boyfriend to a home-cooked dinner and dessert might show him that you enjoy doing things for him and that you appreciate all that he does for you.
Be explicit. If you’re serious, ask to do something serious and/or romantic just the two of you. There’s no need to be cryptic or play games. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Remember that this is just another way of communicating, but should not be used as your sole means to tell someone your true feelings. Do you really expect your boyfriend to infer that you’re ready to get engaged because you bought him his favorite bottle of scotch? Didn’t think so.
This is important. Although you may think doing something a certain way means one thing, a guy could perceive it to mean something completely different. Don’t make assumptions about any moves he makes, or presume he’ll catch your drift either. When in doubt, communicate!
With all of this being said, don’t put too much pressure on yourself, ever! Valentine’s Day is supposed to be a day to enjoy with someone you care about – girlfriend, boyfriend, anyone really! If a guy doesn’t make a move, don’t sweat it! There are 364 other days in the year that should all be treated that Valentine’s Day anyway.
But, if you are looking to make a move, or really tell someone how you’re feeling in regards to a relationship, Valentine’s Day can be the perfect occasion to do so. You know what you want, so go for it!