In college, it’s easy to wonder where a relationship can go. After dating for several months, anxiousness may set in concerning taking the next steps to becoming more serious. If you find yourself fretting about your romantic future, take the following into consideration next time you find yourself “on the ledge” of love.
Saying “I love you” is more complicated than most girls seem to understand, especially if it’s his first serious relationship. In that case, the pressure to be “the first” to say it can be overwhelming. So here are the top reasons it hasn’t happened yet.
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Maybe it’s as simple as he doesn’t love you yet. It’s a hard idea to swallow, but that doesn’t mean it can’t and won’t happen. If you’ve only been dating for a few months, it may be too soon and he wants to get to know you much better before he gives you his heart. - He doesn’t know. If he’s never been in a relationship before, he may not be sure what love is outside of loving his family and friends. He may be waiting around to make sure what he’s feeling is true love.
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He doesn’t want to ruin what you have.Things may be really good in the relationship. He may be enjoying the many perks associated with the “Honeymoon” stage. At the risk of saying it too soon, he doesn’t want to freak you out, or even freak him out and later regret it. It should happen all in good time, so no need to rush things. - He’s scared. Truth be told, love is scary. Maybe he’s apprehensive about putting everything on the line in case it’s unrequited. Honestly, saying it out loud (when you mean it,) is probably one of the scariest things a girl or guy can say. So if you think about it, that’s probably the reason, why we always wait for THEM to say it first.
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He’s unsure about the future.Your guy may be unsure where his life is going after college wants to be sure about the relationship and it’s course before he takes the plunge. Saying “I love you” means you are 100% committed, and he may be the type of guy that won’t say it unless he knows you’re the one.
That brings me to my next point. Why not just tell him yourself. Sometimes it’s easier if the girl relieves some of the tension and says it first. He wants to be your knight in shining armor, but maybe he’s better at showing you his love than verbalizing it. Help him out by being the first. If you don’t tell him, you may resent him in the long run because he never said it.
If he doesn’t feel the same, don’t assume he won’t and feel you made a mistake. Simply reassure him it’s okay if the feelings aren’t mutual (even though it may be heartbreaking.) Mention how important it was that you are honest with your feelings and when he is ready, he can do the same with his. Nothing is worse than saying “I love you” when you don’t mean it. If you’re ready to say it, relieve the pressure by letting him know it’s okay that your feelings are unrequited. In the end, honestly and maturity will earn you his respect and maybe one day, love!
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