The hype leading up to Halloween has me on edge all month long. Suddenly everyone is into horror movies, breaking out Ouija boards, and trying the “Charlie Charlie Pencil Challenge” with their costumes and hoards of candy. As a bona-fide scaredy cat, it’s all a bit much.
1. Halloween stores are too much.
The first time I went to my local “Spirit of Halloween” store, I was scarred. The opening of the store was triggered to make a sound that sounded a lot like Vincent Price in Thriller. Needless to say, that was the last time I went to my local “Spirit of Halloween” store.
2. Costumes need to just chill.
Where do I even start with these costumes? The sexism? The cultural appropriation? How about the ones that are just straight up terrifying?
3. I literally can’t even with these movies.
Between the jump-scares, scary music, and totally believable plot lines, I’m out.
4. Yard displays are just no.
5. Make-up tutorials cannot even be real…
I will be the first to admit that I am a full-blown makeup addict. I love getting new colors and brushes—I could literally spend a whole day just playing with my makeup. But these looks are just straight-up unrealistic.
6. Corn mazes and haunted houses can stop.
Massachusetts has some of the best things fall can offer—foliage, apple orchards, and more. But at the same time, Massachusetts also has some of the best haunted hay rides, haunted houses, and haunted corn mazes. But why would I pay someone to scare the living hell out of me?! No. Thank. You.
Though, even I have to admit, Halloween is fun! I love dressing up and doing my makeup in ways that I normally wouldn’t. And duh, candy.