When it comes to dating there seems to be this unspoken rule in terms of what’s acceptable and what isn’t in terms of the “age gap.” If your boyfriend is your age it seems completely normal, but dating someone even 5 years your senior is totes weird.
Admittedly, I was always one of those girls thinking it would be super strange to date someone older, but without any good reason. I guess I had assumed the age difference would be so apparent and you wouldn’t even have anything in common with someone so much older. However, that’s NOT the case in any way.
Having dated a 28-year-old for about six months (8 year age gap – alert the authorities!), I can tell you first-hand that dating someone older is definitely different than dating someone our age, but in more good ways than bad. In fact, I have grown to love the pros and accepted the cons to dating an older guy.
Probably the greatest, most wonderful thing about dating an older guy is their maturity level. Let’s be honest, 20-year-old guys act like they’re 16, so it only makes sense that an older guy would actually be as mature as us.
The occasional sexual innuendo will still be mentioned (*eye roll*), but I don’t think guys really ever grow out of that, so I guess we have to live with it no matter what the age. However they are much more mature on many levels. They’ve lived a number of years more than you (they were possibly born in 80s?!) and have simply had more life experience than you.
Respect that in some cases they know more than you, and learn from them when they mention 401Ks, how they manage paying their mortgage, and all that grown-up responsibility stuff. Yuck.
Older guys are over all that game-playing, beat-around-the-bush nonsense. They know what they want and will straight up tell you. If an older guy likes you, chances are he’ll let you know. They’re not about wasting time and asking their female friends to ask you if you like him, and all those other middle school shenanigans.
Arguments seem non-existent because issues are brought up immediately and directly, apologies are made, and problems are solved. They simply know how to communicate – something that younger guys seem to be awful at. Ugh the lack of complication is great!
Older guys tend to have more money. It just comes with having lived longer and worked longer (hopefully). They have a car, an apartment/house, a steady income. Yes they will buy you nice things, and, although you’d love to, you can’t reciprocate in the same way. You’re 20 and you’re poor just like the rest of us.
But you shouldn’t feel bad. If they didn’t want to spend money on you they wouldn’t. By no means am I saying dating an older guy will be like having your own sugar daddy, but you might reap some benefits of them working 9-5’s week in and week out. Just appreciate it, always.
Someone older might have LOTS of ex’s. Almost every guy is going to have an ex-girlfriend or 2 (or 15), and you probably have a few ex’s yourself. All that matters is that they’ve chosen you now. Let the past be the past.
But, be grateful for the things that they have learned from their past relationship experiences: like when I say “I’m fine” I’m probably lying, never text me just a “k,” and yes, you in fact do have terrible morning breath. They’ve lived and learned. They get it.
Probably the only con I can think of is the fact that your lives are definitely at different places. Your older guy might be trying to advance his career path and get promoted, doing all the real world stuff, and you’re over here like “thinking about my life post-grad gives me anxiety… so let’s not.”
Because of this, you may really notice your age difference if your guys gets too serious too soon. It happens. Don’t be afraid to remind them that you have a lot of growing up and decision making to do. They should respect that some things that may seem like not that big of a deal to them are actually huge steps to you. Just communicate and compromise as you would in any other relationship and all will be fine.
Trust me when I say that age is just a number. I’m not saying that all older guys are all the same, but from my experience, there definitely are common trends among the older male population in comparison to the younger guys.
The bottom line is to be with someone who complements you, makes you a better person, and respects you. As we all know, finding someone that can do all these things is no easy task, and an age gap shouldn’t be the reason not to date a great guy.
*Note: No 28-year-old guy’s feelings were hurt in the writing of this article.