What Your Choice of Alcohol Says About You

Every Collegiette knows that at any given time during a party they are silently judging what others are drinking while simultaneously being judged on their own choice of drink. For example, if you see a girl acting totally belligerent while nursing a Mike’s Hard, chances are she’s warranting a few eyebrow raises from around the room. That being said, if you happen to lock eyes with a tall, dark and handsome stranger in the corner who’s sipping on some Hennessy, you are likely to be infinitely more attracted to them based on that fact alone. Below is what your choice of alcohol says about you.

Vodka: You have one mission in life, and it’s to get as drunk as you can in the shortest amount of time possible.You’re probably the life of the party, or at least all the vodka makes you think that you are. Svedka and Smirnoff are for the elitists among us, but let’s be honest, we go to UMass, so Rubinoff is what’s considered socially acceptable (and you are shocked when other people don’t agree).

Beer: You’re the chillest out of your friend group and you enjoy the simple pleasures in life, like shotgunning, keg stands, and drinking before 12 PM. If your preferred beer is either Bud / Keystone light or Natty Ice, we’re betting that your are either a) a frat bro or b) really good at beer pong. Probably both. Anything other than those and you are definitely one of those hipster beer connoisseur types who drinks Blue Moon, or any type of obscure Lager.

Wine: Your image of a perfect Thursday night involves an entire bottle of wine to yourself and Taylor Swift playing on repeat while you cry in bed. Moscato is the obvious go-to, but if you’re truly sophisticated and would choose red over white, well then congratulations are in order. Also, even though we’ve all done it, in no way can slapping the bag be considered classy, so if your wine of choice is Franzia you’re automatically a ten on the basic scale.

Tequila: You have undoubtedly run out of f**ks to give if you are opting to drink tequila. Seriously, you might as well get #noragrets tattooed somewhere on your body, because once you’re 5 shots deep of Jose Cuervo there is no telling what the night has in store, except for a lot of dancing, stumbling, and inevitably embarrassing yourself. You pretty much have a 50/50 shot of waking up in a stranger’s bed or on the bathroom floor, so it’s safe to assume that you are an avid partier, and know what comes with the territory.

Rum: You either have pretty low standards, a minor drinking problem, or a low balance in your bank account, but most likely all of the above. Honestly, who drinks rum other than Jack Sparrow and broke people? Please reevaluate your priorities in life and stop blacking out on a Monday night.

Champagne: You are a fan of the finer things in life and aren’t ashamed to splurge when it comes to your happiness. You’ve also made all your friends dedicate a toast to you on multiple occasions, because let's be honest, you're probably really fun and deserve a moment for everyone to celebrate you. Plus, even if it’s with some peach Andre, who doesn’t love a Mimosa with breakfast? A little hair of the dog never killed nobody. In the wise words of Tom Haverford, “Treat yoself.”

Whiskey: If you’re able to drink bourbon with a straight face, that automatically makes you a supremely ballsy individual. Like really, if I catch you drinking a handle of Jim Beam, than your street cred immediately goes up in my book, no questions asked. While we hate to admit it, Fireball is the one exception to the rule, because it’s delicious and goes down like water.

So Collegiettes, what does your choice of alcohol reveal about you?

Picture/Gif Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8