**This article discusses the topics of sexual assault, sexual harassment, and rape, which might be triggering or disturbing to some**
Her name was Sarah Everard. She was only 33 years old when she went missing on the night of March 3, 2021. On March 12, her body was found. Wayne Collins, a 48-year-old father of two, was arrested in connection to Sarah’s murder, and his trial is set for October of this year.
Sarah’s tragic death reignited anger surrounding womens’ safety and experiences of sexual harassment and sexual assault. When women discuss their experiences, a common response is “But not all men are like that.” This is extremely frustrating to hear because not only might it be very difficult to discuss something so traumatic, but it is dismissive, completely derails the conversation, and makes it all about the man, rather than the woman’s experience. Not only that, but it makes us feel like we need to thank these men for not being sexual predators or raping women. So well done, here’s a gold star for treating women with respect.
Yes, it is true that not all men are guilty of sexual assault and/or harassment, but that’s not the point. The point is that while it may not be all men, almost every woman has experienced some sort of sexual harassment and/or sexual assault. Soon after Sarah Everard’s death, the United Nations Entity for Gender Equality and the Empowerment of Women released their results from a study, revealing that 97% of women aged 18-24 have been victims of sexual harassment. A National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey was conducted back in 2010, also revealing that 1 in 5 women have experienced rape at some point in their lives.
Sarah did everything right, she left her friend’s house at a reasonable time, avoided wearing all dark clothing, took a popular and well-lit path, and even called her boyfriend on her way home to let him know where she was. And yet, society seems to still be shocked by these statistics. Somehow, no matter what women do, we still were either “asking for it” or it was just a “wrong place at the wrong time” situation. Even worse, Sarah was killed by a police officer, an individual we have been taught to see as protective and trustworthy. These are some of the reasons why women rarely feel comfortable reporting incidents of sexual harassment or sexual assault because we’ve been trained to think that no one will believe our story and that no one will be able to help.
None of this is new to women. I go running on a popular trail in Amherst where I know that there will at least be a couple of people there at the same time as me. Even so, I find myself continuing to look back so that I’m aware of any possible danger or threat to myself. When I’m walking to my apartment at night, even though it’s well-lit, I grip my car keys in my hand in case I need to defend myself. Women’s experiences and discussions regarding this shouldn’t be offensive or threatening to other men. If it is, well then you need to recognize that you are then part of the problem. We want our stories and voices to be amplified so that we can spread awareness of what it’s like to live life as a woman. Because we know it’s not all men, but it’s enough women.