Vocal Voting – How to Navigate Political Drama at Home: A Survival Guide

Let me tell you that never have I ever had my pulse skyrocket as hard as when my sister frantically texted me, explaining that she told my father who I voted for. A close second would probably be five seconds later, when I saw the three missed calls from my father and the two missed texts from him (he NEVER texts). Mind you, I am definitely not foolish enough to voluntarily get into a political discussion with my father – it’s as pointless as anything is bound to get. I have long since came to the conclusion that it is much healthier for our relationship if I accept his opinion as his own, and have him respect mine and avoid controversial discussions. In this situation, though, my sister threw me under the bus, and I was faced with a conflict that I a) did not initiate, b) did not want to participate in, and c) was not prepared to handle. I was genuinely worried that my father would make a drastic decision of some sort over an issue that really should not be ruining our relationship. Luckily, I was able to deescalate the situation through texts and avoided having a one-sided screaming match over the phone. From this experience (and political discussions I led with my parents previously), I came to learn a few valuable lessons about avoiding political drama at home.

First of all, I would recommend avoiding the topic of politics in general, if possible. There are so many other things to talk about, and if you see that your family members or friends are not easily swayed, despite the evidence you present them with, you might want to just avoid these conversations altogether. They are bound to create a rift in your relationships if you keep pushing, and it is healthy to realize that there are some fundamental differences in your opinions that cannot be changed.

If you do find yourself drawn into a debate against your better judgement, maybe try listening to what they are saying rather than pushing your point of view. Obviously, there are some political and ethical issues that should not be considered right, such as racism, inequality, and inhumane treatments of illegal immigrants. However, most political issues are controversial for a reason, and from listening to different points of view on the same issue I have learned that both sides have very valid arguments. For me personally, I often end up being a very centrist person because I recognize this validity and it keeps me from becoming overly polarized.

Some people are not keen on being persuaded by their relatives, though. You might be one of those people. Maybe your family’s opinions are so radical or absurd that you cannot morally permit yourself to listen to them. Or maybe you gave it an honest try, but the facts your loved ones present you with simply do not suffice. In the case that you choose to stand strong with your case, I strongly recommend coming armed with your own facts – and make sure they are reliable sources! So many news outlets are either sponsored or biased nowadays, and I find it necessary to double or even triple check my stats and facts before I can confidently present them as evidence. Having statistical and tangible evidence from credible sources is profoundly handy in shutting down nonsensical arguments, or at the very least it will help you stand your own and eventually be left with your own opinions.

So, say you were drawn into a heated political discussion despite trying avoidance, listening, and presenting your opponents with facts. Another situation could be similar to mine, where you were thrown into an argument you did not initiate, and you have no evidence or arguments prepared. If that is the position you find yourself in, I would say strap in and prepare for moral warfare. In a situation like this, your opponents are unreasonable, and worse yet – they are ignoring the fact that political views are OPINIONS. Yes, these opinions are based on facts, but there is very rarely a “right” or “wrong” side. Hence, the best way to weasel your way out of this mess is to make your opponent consider this: your opinions are both valid, and the reasons for your discrepancies are due to the fact that you have different priorities. All priorities are valid, and different candidates cater to different priorities – hence your opposing choices. For example, one candidate may be more supportive of businessmen and the economy, while another might be more conscious of climate change or healthcare. Depending on your priorities and attitudes towards these issues you might choose one candidate over another simply because they are more applicable to what you consider important. Do your best to explain that you completely respect your opponent’s opinions and priorities, and do not consider them wrong – all you ask is for them to respect your choices as much as you respect theirs.

Having said all this, I would like to make one thing clear: these tips are for people intent on maintaining domestic tranquility and are trying to avoid political discussions. By no means am I saying that you should tolerate political views that are racist, sexist, phobic of any group, or are generally bigoted – in those cases I completely support you speaking out and attempting to change your relatives’ opinions. However, if the political differences between you and your loved ones are truly simply based on priorities and preferences, I highly recommend respecting their opinions. These tips are not useful if you are the one initiating conflict and disrespecting your family’s choices. Especially in a charged political climate like ours, it is crucial to remember that one’s political opinions do not define their personalities, and that politics should not be tearing families apart the same way they are polarizing this country.

• family
• politics
• understanding