Roses are red, violets are blue, I feel more single than my shoe. A silly, little poem all in good fun but it’s true! With the holiday season right around the corner and Instagram posts of happy couples doing fun things, it can be tempting to feel lonely and get down on yourself. Trust me I am right there with you. My immediate thought is “what’s wrong with me?” or “why does nobody want to be with me?” But let me tell you – it has absolutely nothing to do with you. Read ahead to hear my thoughts on living the single life in college and why you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be at this point in your life.
College is the first time you live on your own. The first time you have complete control of your schedule. The first time you can do pretty much whatever you want (first time experiencing the consequences of “whatever you want”). My point is it’s a lot of firsts. It’s really a time to find yourself – independently, originally, freely yourself. I really love the saying “you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else,” and I remind myself of this frequently. When you’re feeling a little lonely, remember that your radiant spirit and confident heart will attract good people and good vibes. Side note- this doesn’t just apply to relationships. Working towards a better version of yourself each day benefits you, but captivates new friends and opportunities too.
One of my personal insecurities is my appearance. Another question my mind jumps to when I am lonely is “it must be because of how I look.” I’m definitely working on changing this mindset, but it is easier said than done when it comes to yourself. If a friend told me this, the advice I would give them would be:
- First, as I said above, a positive soul attracts the right people. When you find the right person, they won’t care how you look. Successful relationships are built on morals, thoughts, and emotions, not on looking a certain way. I was watching Adele’s interview with Oprah the other day, and her weight loss came up. It stuck with me when she said “you don’t pick your idols based on what they look like, you pick them based on how they make you feel.”
- Secondly, you are beautiful. Period. We are way harder on ourselves than anyone is. Find clothes that make YOU feel beautiful, exercise in a way that makes YOU feel strong. Your body is the only thing that sticks with you from the movement you’re born to the end of life on Earth- cherish it, nourish it, and celebrate its beauty!
- People of all shapes, sizes, ethnicities, interests, races, genders, sexual orientations, lifestyles, and personalities are in healthy, fulfilling relationships. I do believe there is someone for everyone however that being said, to find your “someone” you need to be beautifully, authentically YOU.
Whether you just got out of a long-term relationship, have been single for a while, or have never been in a relationship… don’t get down on yourself. The right people will come into your life at the right time – trust the process. In the meantime, HAVE FUN! There is no better time than college to meet new people, try new things, go a little wild – whatever makes your heart happy.
Lastly, romantic relationships will come and go, but your best friends are forever. They’ll be there for the highs and the lows, so take the time to form those relationships as well. They’re equally important to a happy, healthy future. As they say, sisters before misters.
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