I walk into class, confident in my knowledge. I’ve done all the reading and reviewed my notes thoroughly. I even highlighted portions that I want to ask about for points of clarification. When the teacher poses a question, I know the answer. I have so many thoughts and opinions, and I want to contribute. I am excited to see what we’ve all brought to the table to discuss.
But when I open my mouth, my carefully structured thoughts fall apart.
My palms start sweating and all of the eyes now focused on me cause my heart to beat erratically. I blurt out a sentence, any sentence, as best as I can, but it’s nowhere near as carefully structured as I would have wanted it to be. Instead, it is a rough conglomeration of words that reflect only a small portion of what I wanted to express.
My biggest fear when reviewing any syllabus is the dreaded participation grade. In the list of grading criteria, there it is; a chunk of my grade devoted to how often and how well I speak in class. Suddenly my grade is no longer centered around papers or assignments. Instead, I must focus on crafting the perfect contribution for each class, because if I don’t, I will be too afraid to open my mouth at all.
As someone with social anxiety, speaking up in class has never been easy. However, when you know that you’re going to get graded for speaking, the fear gets so much worse. And, when I know that I have to speak in class in order to get the best grade I possibly can, I start dreading the class itself, which should not be the case when I genuinely enjoy learning.
In the past, the idea of participating in class or even asking questions inhibited me from fully engaging with the course material. Instead, I focused on creating the perfect answer to a question or contribution to a conversation. I know that I am a capable student and that there are so many students like me who want to be in the classroom, yet I am hindered by an aspect of the course that directly conflicts with my anxieties.
While I have gradually reached the point in my academic career where I’m finally feeling confident enough to voice my opinion, I know that there are students in my classes who struggle to formulate their thoughts and join in on class discussions. I know there are students with anxiety, students who don’t speak English as their native language, and students who learn better by observing and taking notes. These students should not feel that they are not welcome in the classroom because of grading that dictates that if they do not speak, they cannot succeed.
In my personal opinion, participation should not be graded. It exacerbates anxiety and inhibits an entire group of students from feeling confident in the classroom. It should be encouraged, but not forced. It is important to note that a participation grade is not a reflection of who you are as a student. You are capable.
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