PSA: this article is based upon culture within the United States.
The swag gap – let’s talk about it.
What even is a swag gap? Well, it’s when one person is seemingly cooler than their partner in a romantic relationship. It is usually referred to as how a person is dressed, but I would like to dive deeper than that — a sociological swag gap. I would like to propose the idea that most of the time, when referencing the swag gap, it is usually the man who falters. Not always, of course, but a lot of the time.
So, one of the many questions on my mind is, why?
Why are stylish women with men who don’t feel the need to put effort into their appearance? Now, my perspective is based upon two individuals with similar economic status, those of which who have the privilege of affording “stylish” and “appropriate” clothes in certain settings.
If the argument is because of personality, I am discounting it. I believe a grown man can know how to dress appropriately and be funny at the same time, let’s be real here. You can argue with me, but I don’t think that it’s a shallow thing to want to be represented well by your partner. Clothing matters when you are an adult.
So, is it love? I guess it might be. People are complicated and have rose-tinted glasses when it comes to their partners. But why do women always seem to receive the short end of the stick and not the man? Figuratively and literally…
It is because of how our culture is in the Western world. The western expectations surrounding women bleed into our everyday lives. From our economic policies of unpaid child labor in the United States, to something as simple as the clothes we choose to wear each morning. It benefits a man to dress nicely, but not in the way it benefits women every day. Looking nice will help a man get a job after an interview — looking nice for a woman will earn her some basic respect as a human.
Women are constantly put into categories to define themselves entirely based on looks, whereas men do not, or their categories are looser and less meaningful. “Clean girl,” “VSCO girl,” “E-girl,” along with the more degrading titles such as “slut,” “whore,” and “bitch.” Men do not have to forage for a defined “aesthetic” because they have no reason to — you either “have style” or you don’t. (It’s also really not hard to have style as a man, all it takes is a nice pair of jeans and a crewneck…)
Furthermore, women continue to be labeled and patronized for their looks, whereas men do not face this standard, which is why women most likely settle for someone who has a “swag gap” to themselves. When looking for a partnership, it’s unfortunately slim pickings. When men don’t put effort into their appearance, it is because it doesn’t benefit them. It will always benefit a woman.
This progresses even farther when the discussion of morality and personhood comes into play. Why do smart, beautiful, driven women settle for a man who does not fulfill these qualities like her? Domestic abuse disproportionately affects women, a driving example of the concept of shared morality. If women are more likely find themselves in unsafe situations, it is because there are more unsafe men than unsafe women.
The valedictorian of my senior class in High school dated an older guy who did not share her idea of morality in politics, an “ideological swag gap.” Where her preferences were based upon empathy and equality, his ideas completely differed. So why were they together? I don’t know, you tell me.
There is no biological difference in behavior between men and women, only the underlying concepts on which our society was built. The sociological swag gap can be defined by this idea.
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