Whenever I’m looking for a show to watch — whether it’s while I’m eating, hanging out with friends, or simply relaxing before bed, I tend to find myself going back to Sex and the City. It’s definitely a comfort show for me; it’s always my first pick when I can’t find anything else to watch, and I’m never disappointed.Â
The show revolves around Carrie Bradshaw, her three best friends — Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha —and her newspaper column, in which she describes her relationships. The show encompasses the vibrant, bustling environment of New York City, an entertaining dynamic between friends, and an emphasis on the dating habits of single women in their thirties, with stylish decor and fashion. All of these factors blend to create a relatable, entertaining, and comforting experience for viewers.
Although the show centers on men and relationships, it also emphasizes that the four main characters, in their thirties, choose not to marry or settle down despite social pressure. Despite each character having different ideas about their desired relationships, they share a deep, personal connection. Men don’t define their friendship, and this is refreshing to see in the media.Â
The idea of a stable friend group sharing a deep personal connection in my late twenties and thirties sounds more exciting than the idea of settling down, marrying, and having kids. Now, more and more women are starting to feel the same way. We live in a generation where people are waiting longer to marry and have children. After all, what’s the rush? Why is marrying and settling down seen as more fulfilling than building deep emotional connections with the women we’re close to? Platonic love is just as important as romantic love, and female friendships can be just as vital as a relationship. Sex and the City portrays this idea very well. Carrie, Sam, Charlotte, and Miranda stay connected while navigating tensions with men. As men come and go, the four women’s bond never falters.
Another factor I enjoy about their friend group is that they all have contrasting goals, aesthetics, and interests with men. While Charlotte wishes to find the love of her life and enter the “perfect” marriage, Samantha has no interest in romantic relationships and is only interested in casual hookups. Samantha is entirely confident in her sexuality, while Charlotte possesses a more modest mindset. Carrie’s love life revolves around Big, who initially struggles to commit to her and is emotionally unavailable. Miranda has an on-again, off-again relationship with Steve, finding that their differences make it hard for them to work out. Miranda graduated from Harvard Law School and is career-focused, while Carrie focuses on writing her newspaper column and also loves fashion — especially shoes!Â
It’s nice to watch a fictional friend group in which each character has varying interests and goals, but still gets along with each other. The show also teaches us that it’s OK for women to act however they want. Samantha teaches women that there’s nothing wrong with being sexually active in adulthood (as long as you are safe about it), despite the sexist notion that women “lose value” with more sexual partners. These women set their differences aside when having deep conversations about their relationships, each using their distinct knowledge to give each other advice. For me, it’s comforting to see this kind of dynamic between friends. Rather than using their differences to put a wedge between each other, they uplift each other.Â
Overall, having a stable, intimate friend group is crucial in our lives. Being able to rely on each other, share deep feelings and secrets, enjoy activities with each other without drama, and truly love each other platonically is so much more important than we may realize. We spend so much time thinking about romantic relationships, searching for our soulmates, that we may not realize our true soulmates are our best friends. Growing up, I always envisioned myself getting married in my twenties or thirties, and I had the idea that I would only truly be happy if I ended up in a relationship. Sex and the City has shown me the true future I desire: living on my own in a vivid city with my best friends, without any pressure to marry and start a family. As I enter my twenties, I hope that I can create this life for myself, focusing more on my independence and my friends rather than constantly ruminating over romantic relationships.
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