All my fellow out-of-state girls know the feeling. It’s Friday night. You’re done with classes, you’ve had a really hectic week, and all you wanna do is go out and have fun with your girls. But as soon as you text the group chat, you’re hit with a thousand “Sorry, I’m going home this weekend!”. Sigh.
It can be really tough to constantly be reminded of just how far away you are from home. While most of your friends can pack their bags and head home in no more than a few hours, you’re stuck on campus trying to figure out what to do with your time. You see them with their close friends and families on their social media stories and can’t help but feel some jealousy brewing inside. Trust me, I understand. I’m originally from Sweden, but moved to Atlanta, Georgia in 2019. For the past 4 years I’ve been dealing with missing friends and relatives in Sweden, and now I’ve have to deal with missing my immediate family as well. So what can you do when you feel a little too reminded of your out-of-state status? Here’s a few tips that have worked for me and that will hopefully work for you too!
Keep in contact with family and friends.
It’s easy to feel emotionally distant from your friends and family when you are thousands of miles away from them. However, we are so lucky to live in a time where long-distance communication is as quick and easy as possible! Find some time each week to reach out to your family and friends to schedule a time when both of you can call or FaceTime. Remember that they are just a text message away. You don’t need to have a long talk every day, but a few nice updates and check-ins here and there can ease feelings of distance.
Connect with other out-of-state students
Just like High School Musical, we’re all in this together. You are certainly not alone in feeling lonely as an out-of-state student. Although the majority of UMass Amherst students are Massachusetts natives, there’s actually quite a lot of students from all over! Sharing your struggles with each other will help you remember that you’re not alone. Connecting with a community of students with the same experiences as you is also really fulfilling, and serves as a reminder that you will always have support wherever you are!
Explore the beauty of your state and try to think of it as “yours”
As an out-of-state student, it can become easy to “other” yourself from Massachusetts natives. This, in turn, only makes you feel more isolated. Try to form a connection to Massachusetts — think of it more as “your new state” rather than a state that you just go to school in. Truly emerge yourself and explore everything that it has to offer! For example, the trails and hikes here are just a few minutes from campus and absolutely gorgeous. Put some sneakers on and go with your friends to embrace the beauty of Mass’s nature. If you’re not much of an outside girlie, take a day trip to Northampton or some other close-by town and explore aesthetic coffee shops, cute vintage stores, etc. The point is, constantly reminiscing about your home state does you no good. So get out there and feel excited about your new home!
Be proud of yourself
Take a step back and give yourself some credit. Not many people have the courage to move so far away from their homes to pursue their dreams. Making the decision to go to an out-of-state university is not easy. Be proud of yourself! In moments where you feel down, have faith in yourself that everything will work out and your bravery will pay off. Not to sound like an ancient philosopher, but the most difficult things are often the most rewarding. So hang in there! From a fellow out-of-state girlie, I’m proud of you.
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