On January 3, 2023, I will be traveling outside of the United States for the very first time — all by myself. At long last, I will be studying abroad and spending a whole semester in the beautiful country of Spain. While I have quite literally been on the edge of my seat for this moment to finally come, now that it’s getting closer, the fear is setting in. One second I’m daydreaming about all the amazing sites and memories that lie before me, yet the next I’m overwhelming myself with “what if’s.”
The Stress
Right now, I am in the fall semester of my junior year and I am twenty years old, and I’m currently trying to balance my peace and all of my new responsibilities. This time of year feels like never-ending work. Attempting to figure out how to get a visa, finding flights and deadlines, and also starting classes, being a teacher’s assistant, and working can be very daunting — not to mention the yearly struggle of trying to find housing for the following year is upon us.
These are all new experiences to me, and I feel like I have filled out more paperwork in the last month than ever before. And while these stressors don’t all directly have to do with going abroad, they definitely contribute to my nerves.
Furthermore, there’s the stress of being in a brand-new country all by myself. The thought of trying to make new friends is often on my mind. What if I don’t mesh with anyone? What if I feel awkward? What if I don’t put myself out there enough and end up feeling dissatisfied? I wonder if school will be hard. How will I balance trying to immerse myself in as many experiences as possible while also keeping up with my classes? What will it be like with the language barrier? These are all questions that are left to the unknown.
The excitement
Though some of the processes can be taxing, there are also a lot of things that I cannot wait for! The delicious, authentic tapas and paella fresh from a restaurant down the street. The distinct and vibrant architecture, noticeable from anywhere. The diverse and unique fashion, nonconforming and true to the individual. I get to be on a whole new continent for four months with new people, and what I want to do is up to me! How lucky am I to get to experience such a thing!
Overall
I am so grateful to be able to go abroad and I know that I will love every second of it. I’m going to make so many memories and indulge in new experiences. I have museums to be toured, parks to be walked, and sights to be seen. While there will always be nerves, I’m not going to let them hold me back from soaking up any part of this journey.
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