Moving to college is a huge transition that I feel like no one truly prepares you for. Before I headed to UMass Amherst my freshman year, I was siked about my dorm decor and meeting new people. I was nervous about the unknowns ahead, but I didn’t realize that those nerves would linger for the first few weeks — or even a month! I’m not writing this article to scare you silly and convince you not to go to college. I’m writing it to acknowledge that it is okay not to be okay. It’s okay to be nervous, sad, stressed, and homesick. Although it’ll look like everyone else immediately found their besties for life and absolutely love their school with their whole heart, trust me, they’re struggling too.
It is important to remember that everyone’s experience is different. Your life at college is whatever you want it to be because you have full control of your time and who you spend it with. If you’re struggling to find your type of people right off the bat, don’t worry, they are out there. I was extremely lucky with the random roommate search and was paired with one of my best friends. You’re probably thinking: jeez this girl didn’t have it tough at all, she had a buddy from the start. This is true, I was lucky we had similar interests and outlooks so we could explore campus together. However, our floor/building wasn’t filled with people similar to us, and we saw them begin to group off without us. It wasn’t that we wanted to be included in their groups, rather the lack of being a part of my own group was stressful.
Looking back at it now, most of those initial “friend groups” on my floor have disbanded and gone their separate ways. I think it’s important to focus on yourself and what you want rather than comparing it to what other people are doing. Stay true to yourself and you will find your people. As it turns out, there were plenty of nice people in that building, they were just on different floors and we had to search for a few months to find them.
It’s vital to mention the dangers of social media and comparison. In those first few weeks there will be hundreds of photos and videos on Snapchat, Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook. It’s never ending. Everyone looks like they’re having the absolute time of their lives, but let me tell you: the number of times someone posts on Instagram in their going out tops does not correlate to how they’re really feeling. Again, focus on yourself and what makes you happy. If you want to post that pic go for it! But remind yourself that social media is not reality. For that reason, check in with your friends at home and see what they’re doing. I bet they’ll have a few things to share about what they’ve been struggling with as well.
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