When failure strikes, change is imperative, how do you respond? What do you tell yourself?
Ancient philosophers believed in what we know today as, the butterfly effect. Although we don’t necessarily have control over how things turn out, we still have control over how we approach them. Stoicism provides compelling answers to the feelings of anxiety, stress, fear, and ambiguity. The principles within Stoicism are perhaps the most relevant today. Not only does it emphasize being better human beings, but it also aids in overcoming life’s trials and tribulations.
The Stoic way of living has paved its way into modern Psychology which interacts with cognition, emotion, and behavior. The different assessments of the same hardship for two people can result in entirely different emotions, behaviors, and ultimately the outcome. Events that occur in a person’s life are interconnected with the physical cause and effect. The connection between an event and its outcome is almost impossible to predict. There is no way of knowing whether positive events will produce negative outcomes or if negative events will produce positive outcomes. Therefore, it will always be ambiguous whether an apparently positive or negative event is truly positive or negative in the context of a person’s life. The philosophy of stoicism advocates equanimity. It means eliminating any judgment of whether the event is positive or negative in order to maintain peace of mind. Marcus Aurelius, a famous stoic, quoted that external things are not the problem, but your assessment of them is, which can be erased.
Seneca, also a stoic, emphasized the idea of “living each day as if it were your last.” which is also a phrase largely used by the Millenials, but often misunderstood. While this idea of “pretending like it’s your last day” may seem morbid, it does not encourage you to drive at 100 mph or abuse intoxicants. Imagine a soldier, the night before she leaves for war, she takes care of any unsettled business, spends time with her loved ones knowing that there is an equal chance of her not making it back. She leaves for war the next morning, without any regrets. Seneca claims that the one who puts finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time. He encourages the idea of preparing our minds as if we’d come to the very end of life, not postpone anything and live a balanced life. The Stoics believed that “contemplating one’s mortality can lead to more gratitude and virtuous actions.”
Today we may use the word Stoic to mean someone who remains calm under pressure and avoids emotional extremes but since its inception, Stoicism has been mistaken for shutting down one’s feelings entirely, however it is not so much disregarding your feelings as it is neglecting bad responses to emotions. Practicing stoicism has helped me deal with undesirable situations, setting boundaries, avoiding toxic habits, and feel more in sync with myself. Find more about Stoic exercises here.
