Have a question for our RLCG Ben? Ask him using this form!
Question: “Is it okay to date a guy your friend hooked up with freshman year? Note: we’re going to be juniors in September. They only hooked up once and he pretty much stopped talking to her. She was pretty upset about it at the time. I started talking to him this past semester randomly at a party and we really hit it off. We’ve been texting since January and now he asked me out on a date. I haven’t told my friend about it and I’m unsure if I should even see this guy. All my girlfriends are telling me I’m breaking girl code… What do you think?”
RLCG Ben: Hey, so as much as I’d like you to not ruffle any feathers with your girlfriends or that one friend in particular, remember that it is mostly between you and the guy in question. Also, this is only a date, it may or may not lead to anything. If it does, that’s awesome! If it doesn’t, well, at least you tried.
Where I see a problem arising for you is how your friend would currently feel about it, which would hinge on whether she still has feelings for this guy. While she seemed to be pretty upset when the guy and her broke things off, keep in mind that the encounter in question was two or three whole semesters ago. A lot can change in three semesters – majors, hairstyles, living arrangements, taste in music, all sorts of things, but namely feelings about people and relationships. Ask your friend, if she still has feelings for this guy, then it’s probably not the best idea to commit to dating right away. If not, then you should have clearance to date. That said, don’t let your friend or even myself (even though, Ms. Anonymous Reader, you’ve entrusted me with this question. Probably against better judgement.) expressly dictate what to do for this. If you like him and he likes you, follow your hearts. Who knows what will happen?