If I could recall on any important lesson my parents ever taught me it was to be friends with everyone. “It will get you far in life,” my mother said one day at the breakfast table before I headed off to high school. However, a reputation goes along with being friends with everyone: you are labeled as “the girl who is too nice.” Many peers think it is a great attribute and you can certainly make many positive relationships at school by acting so friendly towards people. But, the closer to graduating and the aggressive work world gets, “the girl who is too nice” needs to toughen up. Jobs, romantic relationships, and parts of living in the “real world” require more of an assertive edge. There is certainly a mix of ups and downs to this label:
Pro: You Seldom Say “No”
By hardly ever saying no to tasks, girls who are considered too nice have a lot of self confidence. We personally believe we can take on all of these challenges and everyone knows that it will include one thousand percent of our effort. No challenge is too overbearing for the girl who is too nice.
Con: You Seldom Say “No”
There is such thing as a plate that is too full. On a given day, the girl who is too nice is more than just one person and it can run her ragged. When we take on too many tasks, this can certainly affect our health. Sleepless nights and no time to breathe? It might be time to put your foot down. There is nothing wrong with saying no to a task. If you have too much going on, an extra task may lower the quality of what you produce. Know your limits. You can still be a kind person and still say no!
Pro: You Have a Great Relationship with Your S.O.
Girls who are too nice rarely get into arguments with their S.O.s. They never see you without a smile on your face and you do absolutely everything to be a fantastic partner. From small gifts here and there or a text to let them know you are thinking of them, you make your S.O. feel wanted. Girls who are too nice are sensitive to their S.O.’s feelings and try not to “rock the boat” or upset them. Less conflicts means a healthy relationship, right?
Con: You Never Tell Your S.O. What’s Wrong
Girls who are too nice tend to not bring negative feelings up because they may open the Pandora’s box that will end their relationship. In the end, being non-communicative for fear of hurting your S.O.’s feelings can get you to that point. Addressing your hurt feelings with your S.O. before they snowball into something big can save you from a big argument and even heartache. We have big hearts and our S.O.s mean the world to us, but do not forget to think about yourself. It’s not selfish, you are a big part of the relationship too!
Pro: You Have Positive Relationships with Your Coworkers and Customers
Coworkers hardly ever complain that they have difficulty with working with a girl who is too nice. Girls who are too nice get along with everyone. We do not like it when a customer is disgruntled or a coworker disagrees with the way we take on a task. We try to please everyone and often succeed with a smile.
Con: Being Too Nice Can Make You Too Sensitive in the Work World
We all run into difficult situations at work. Be it a customer who has a bad day and takes it out on the employees, or if your boss gets off a bad conference call and unintentionally snaps at you. Girls who are too nice take these situations too personally. We often think it is our fault they are upset and it generally puts a damper on the rest of our day. Developing a thick skin is not easy for girls who are too nice.
Being the girl who is too nice may have its pros and cons, but at the end of the day all reputations do. The most important thing to keep in mind is to never change who you truly are to conform to what is perceived as “likeable” to others. So the next time someone comes up to you and says you are “too nice,” do not nod and stare down at your feet. Look them in the eye, smile, and say “yes I am!”