*warning: contains spoilers*
As a self-proclaimed “movie person,” I’ve only seen about five shows from start to finish. The most iconic, timeless, and incredible of those shows is obviously Sex and the City. Throughout the six seasons, including two movies and a spinoff series, I have learned countless lessons I will carry into womanhood.
- Never have a 10-year situationship. like ever.
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Okay, so finding out how long Mr. Big and Carrie’s relationship lasted before marriage required little research. From everything I can gather, Big and Carrie dated on and off again for TEN years before finally tying the knot at the end of the first movie. Herein lies the greatest lesson Sex and the City has to teach young women, and everyone for that matter: do not ever EVER engage in a decade-long situationship. A situationship is, by definition, a romantic relationship without labels or commitment. More than a one-night stand, less than a significant other. Situationships are so college and should be reserved for the frat brother who you know will never get serious. We’ve all been there, but Carrie, honey, come on! Mr. Big was at least 40 when the show started. If you want a committed relationship, and said person can’t give that to you, sorry, but it’s time to walk away.
- It’s ok to spend a RIDICULOUS amount of money on shoes
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Okay, maybe this just validates some personal spending habits, but I believe in living the Carrie Bradshaw way. And the Carrie Bradshaw way includes expensive footwear. Carrie is not exactly a model for healthy financial decisions. If she were the show, it would be incredibly boring. I’m not advising anyone to buy Manolo Blahniks on a college budget, but I am advocating for treating yourself. It’s ok to buy an overpriced latte once in a while. It’s perfectly normal to go shopping and buy a new outfit if you have a date. If you have a bad day, you can’t make it worse by buying new shoes. So treat yourself! Just make sure to save money too; textbooks are expensive!
- there is more to talk about than just boyfriends
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Some days, it feels like all college girls want to do is talk about Chad, who won’t text you back, or Ryan, who didn’t ask you to his frat formal, or your latest campus or class crush. It’s normal to have these discussions; it’s even normal to obsess a bit (a healthy, fun amount). Sometimes, however, it feels like, as girls, we should put our energy somewhere a little more productive. Miranda Hobbes, often the voice of reason for the friend group, wondered, “How did it happen that four such smart women have nothing to talk about but boyfriends? It’s like seventh grade with bank accounts” (Sex and the City, season 2 episode 1). Maybe Miranda was a little harsh with the girls when she stormed out of the diner, but her sentiment was accurate. We are so much more than a boy who won’t give us the time of day.
- love yourself first
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Samantha Jones is who I want to be when I grow up. She’s straightforward, funny, successful, and honest. In the end, Samantha is one of the few characters who doesn’t settle for anyone to ‘have’ someone. She knows she is perfectly okay alone. One of her best quotes is, “I love you… but I love me more” (Sex and the City, Season 5, Episode 3). Samantha’s character offers lots of good advice throughout the show, but her best advice is not to let anyone get in your way of being happy.
- you have more time than you think
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Miss Carrie Bradshaw was 32 when the show started. Yes, she had a rent-controlled apartment in Manhattan and an insane collection of Manolo Blahniks, but her life was a complete mess for the most part. All the girls had their setbacks, failures, and learning experiences. This is another secret they don’t want you to know. No one who is entirely fabulous has their life completely together. Nobody has it all figured out. It’s okay to make a fool of yourself; it’s okay to mess up; it’s okay to splurge on shoes you know you can’t afford. You’re still in college; you have so much time to figure out your life. Please relax.
Maybe it’s silly to seek advice from an early 2000’s drama, maybe not. However, throughout the series, there are lessons to be learned. The girls grow from being silly 30-year-olds to successful women, and the best part is they do it together.
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