A lot of what we learn in life comes from other people and their experiences. We often turn towards those whose opinions we value and trust when it comes to decision-making or advice. For myself, and I’m sure many others, one of these people is my mom. She has seen me through many difficult situations and memorable moments in my life. She has always tried to guide me in the right direction — and has stuck by my side even when I refuse to listen. Her advice and lessons have proven truthful, so I thought I’d share some of them that have stuck with me for a long time.
- Confidence Goes a long way (Even if its fake)
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I was — and still can be — insecure about my physical looks, and personality. Is my nose too weird? Am I likable? How am I perceived by others? All of these questions rattle around in my head and make it difficult to feel good about myself. What I didn’t realize is that all of these insecurities and unsureness project outward toward others. Having a negative outlook on yourself might make those around you feel as though you come off as closed-off and distant, maybe even unfriendly or isolated. If you have a mindset where you believe that you are the most fun, engaging, and beautiful person inside and out, even if you don’t fully believe it yet, you will draw people in. You are worth so much more than how you are perceived by others, but by having that bit of confidence, you feel and look so much better.
Columbia Pictures / Revolution Studios - Those who value you will make it known
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You encounter many people in your life, and I believe every person has a purpose. Whether that be a blessing, a lesson, or something in between. Sometimes you might value someone in your life more than they value you in theirs, and that is a tough and sometimes heartbreaking thing. For whatever reason, they do not see the value in you that you do in them. Instead of focusing on trying to change the people who might not appreciate you as much, focus on those who continuously show you that they have your best interest at heart. Whether it be friends, family, a significant other, etc. You should not have to question if someone tolerates you or if they are genuinely in your life with purpose. And if you ever do need reassurance, they will offer it to you without question. These people are rare but you should cherish the ones you have.
- Put Yourself out there
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Breaking out of your comfort zone can be extremely intimidating, but also extremely rewarding. You always face the chance of rejection, however, the pain of regret often will outlast brief embarrassment or sadness. Trying something new, reaching out to someone, and taking opportunities will more than likely benefit you in some way, shape, or form. It takes a lot of courage to do some of these things, especially if you struggle with anxiety and/or overthinking. I tend to overthink and become hesitant to attempt things because I worry that the worst possible outcome is the only outcome that’s going to occur. This is almost never going to be the case, however, pushing that out of my brain continues to be a challenge for me. This is one I am still working on but am improving with time and maturity. And if things don’t work out: “rejection is redirection.”
- Prioritize Yourself
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My mom and I are similar in that we often put the needs and feelings of others before our own. Whatever is going to make other people happy is what I am willing to do: even if I have to sacrifice my own desires or happiness for that. I want my friends and family to be successful, but oftentimes I let my people-pleasing take over my life. But what I have learned is that not everyone feels that way about me, even if I was so set on prioritizing them. It hurts, but this has allowed me to focus on myself and what I need/want. My goals, dreams, feelings, etc. are my first concern. I want to allow myself to have a sound body and mind before I worry about others. This is not to say I am going to take away my generous or kind and giving nature, but I am not going to harm myself for the sake of others. The only person that will continuously advocate for you is yourself, so treat yourself with care and compassion.
I am so grateful for all the lessons I have learned from my mom, and I will continue to keep them with me throughout my life. I know whether she is by my side or a call away, she will always have my best interest at heart. She is one of the most inspirational people I have ever met and am so blessed to have her as my mother.
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