“The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.”
– Fred Astaire
If you look around in any social setting with young adults, you will likely see many eyes glued to iPhones. It’s almost surprising when someone waits and holds the door open for you. Today, basic social etiquette is a highly praised skill, when really it should be something that is standard in all of us. So, why have common courtesies been placed on the back burner for our generation, and what can we do to make being “polite” popular again?
A major shift in American culture happened after World War II. The rapid prosperity that began in the 1950’s changed attitudes across the country from “helping others” to “helping ourselves.” This new, egocentric notion of caring more about yourself and less about others has unfortunately been passed down each generation. With everyone so focused on providing for themselves, the needs of others are neglected.
This is a vast problem in our society today, but the solution is relatively small and simple. Helping someone carry their groceries, holding the door open, or any other humble act has substantial benefits. A single act of kindness is contagious, and will help others behave similarly. Doing something courteous could be one of the easiest things you do all day, but have the greatest impact.
The BIG Problem: cell phones. Despite their small size, cell phones have had a large impact on young adults and our social skills. Many people today use their phones as an escape from small talk when coming in contact with a stranger. Or even worse, use their phones when someone else is talking to them. This gives the message that the person directly in front of them is not as important as the person who is on the other line.
These habits can hinder your ability to have small talk with someone you may have just met, or meaningful conversations with someone you may have known for a while. In either circumstance, face-to-face communication takes practice. In this generation of Millennials, many of us are fantastic texters, but cannot hold a real life conversation without it seeming awkward.
We Have To Use Our Phones Though… It is entirely unrealistic to suggest that you never pick up your phone again and only talk to people in person, or deliver them hand written sentiments. Technology is indeed helpful, but is not a necessity at certain times. Keep your phone away when you are talking to someone else. No, you do not have to have it out at dinner, either. Realize that the people who you are presently with need to be your priority.
Social Etiquette Essentials
Here are some basic rules to the manners game that every Collegiette should know:
1. Be on Time – Being late is not “fashionable,” it’s rude.
2. Attire – Wear clothes suitable for the occasion. It’s better to be over dressed than under dressed.
3. Gratuity – 15-20% for good service. If you can’t afford to pay your server, don’t go out to eat.
4. Language – If you’re not with your closest friends, watch your mouth.
5. Courtesies – “Please” and “Thank You” are still the magic words, use them.
Choosing Civility Will Get You Far: Potential employers will notice if you push in your chair after the interview, and if you can smile and make eye contact while shaking their hand. Sometimes it’s the little things like this, which can leave the biggest impression. If you want people to have a good impression of you, being well-mannered is not an option.
Despite a widespread belief in modern society, you do not always have to put yourself first. Thinking of, and caring for others will be a positive reflection of you, and inspire others to follow your good-natured lead. It will be impossible to get ahead in any endeavor if you do not show respect for yourself, and those around you.