If you asked me about the saddest moment I’ve experienced in 2019, I would probably tell you it was when I sat in my college dorm room, looking at a framed photograph of my boyfriend, who was studying abroad in Spain. The time zones never matched up properly, we only talked for a solid twenty minutes a week, and I felt hopelessly alone. I felt the need to share absolutely everything with him, but didn’t want to come off as clingy at the same time. It was a lose-lose situation. However, the more time I spent apart from him, the more I loved him and the sweeter our reunions became. Spending long periods of time apart from your significant other is definitely difficult, but it’s worth it if you have the right ideas and tools to cope with it. Here are some of my absolute favorites tips that got me through those lonely times.
1. Stay honest with each other.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in your own negative emotions when you are apart from your significant other. Distrust and doubt can often pop up, creating holes in your heart and voids in your communication. Always be open about your fears and insecurities and try to establish an honest communication system so you two can always be on the same page. It’s always better to catch a problem, no matter how trivial it may seem, in its early stages before it consumes the good aspects of your relationship.
2. Have some sort of routine.
Despite crazy schedules and different time zones, make sure that you both have some sort of schedule where you carve out time for each other. Even if it’s just to have a conversation over text or Facetime, make sure that you make time. Try not to over-communicate or get too clingy, but always make time to share the little things. I remember sharing the most some of the smallest parts of my day, whether that be how I saw a rabbit-shaped cloud on the drive to school or if I heard a song on the radio that reminded me of him.
3. Talk about the future.
Having a goal in mind for anything will help motivate you to see it through. Be open and honest about what sort of future you want to have. Daydream together about your future house, the name your future Labrador retriever will have, the type of vacations you will take. Daydream together, but also plan to make it a reality. Talk about where your relationship is headed and keep each other updated on your feelings and your separate lives.
4. Do not put your life on hold for them.
It is important to always make time for your significant other and to think about them frequently, but do not let their absence control your life. It is perfectly normal to miss them and to want to talk to them pretty frequently, however, go on with your life. Go on that roadtrip with your gal pals, go out to catch that late night movie, buy that sequined red dress you always wanted, throw your arms in the air and party like it’s your last night. It’s your life, live it the way you want to and need to. Your love will wait for you.
Long distance loving is hard. But if you play your cards right and openly communicate with each other with all the love you have thrown in, there’s no doubt your love will succeed. Like writer Nicola Yoon said, “Spoiler alert: love is worth everything. Everything.”