Dear My High School Boyfriend,
It’s been a while, but I thought there were some things you should know.
Even though it’s been a few years, there are still times when I think of you. And no, that doesn’t mean I want you back or that I’m still in love with you, at this point in our lives I barely know you anymore, but it does mean I still care about the love we use to have.
Whenever that song we use to sing every line to together plays all I can see is you. Whenever someone tells a joke that you use to make me giggle uncontrollably with, I wonder how you are.
There are times I compare other guys to you. When I don’t feel sparks after a first kiss, I imagine your lips against mine. Whenever I tell a joke and he doesn’t think it’s funny I remember how we shared the same goofy sense of humor. Whenever I cry over another guy I wish I had your arms wrapped around me.
You were the first of so many things in my life, so there are times when I look back and all I can see are the happy times. Our first kiss, our first dance, our first night spent together, these memories will forever be engrained in my mind. But I know, as much as I hold our relationship up on a pedestal at times, there were a lot of bad times too.
I’m not as horrible as you probably think I am. I’m sure you have stories you tell your present girlfriend about your “crazy ex-girlfriend,” but there are also amazing stories you could tell too.
We were both immature kids. We both messed with each other’s heads. You broke my heart more times than I could count and I hurt you more than I could even imagine. As much as the mistakes we made may have hurt one another; the fights, the break ups, the revenge we took, they also helped us learn some pretty valuable life lessons.
As much as I wish I could go back in time and make it so I never hurt you, I know I can’t. Life just doesn’t work like that. Our relationship, as dysfunctional as it was at times, is the foundation that the rest of our relationships are now built on.
For some very important years of my life you were my everything. I don’t know what high school would have been like without you. I know I wouldn’t be half of the girl I am today if it wasn’t for you. I’m so grateful for all the memories you gave me – the good and the bad.
As Nicolas Sparks wrote in his tearjerker novel The Notebook, “I’m not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I hope to give to you forever.” Yes, it’s corny – but it’s also full of truth.
No matter how our relationship ended, I’m so happy to have had that time we spent together, because you helped me grow into who I am today.
Sincerely,
Your High School Girlfriend