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A Letter To: Jealous Girls

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at U Mass Amherst chapter.

Okay, girls.  Don’t deny it.  It happens to all of us.  We get jealous.  Whether we’re 100% positive our boyfriends are into us or not, we often feel jealousy when our guy shows interest in other girls – even if he’s just being friendly.

While jealousy is only part of human nature, it can really drive you crazy… not to mention your boyfriend.  Unfortunately, to guys, your jealousy can be translated into insecurity, which = unattractive.  While seeing your guy interact with other girls may make you crave more attention from him, don’t let this show!  If you do, you could come off as needy and dependent which can be a major turn-off.  Guys love girls with confidence.  No guy wants to be with a girl who needs constant attention and reassurance.

Elysha Krupp, an editor at Askmen.com, says, “What confidence really is, is liking yourself and being comfortable with who you are. If you are, then people will gravitate toward you, and it’s not just only women, it’s men, too.”

We all get jealous at some point or another, but if a girl is interacting with your seriously committed boyfriend, the chances are, he’s not into it.  As girls, we tend to over-think and over-dramatize things.  It’s just who we are. As a result, we need to take a step back and reflect whenever we begin to feel the little green monster come out in us.

Instead of focusing so much on other girls, try focusing on yourself and how amazing you are, and stop comparing yourself to other girls!  Like Elysha Krupp says, if you act confident, people will be drawn to you.

According to licensed psychotherapist, Jason Phelps, when you develop feelings of jealousy, you need to think about where that jealousy is stemming from. “Is your partner doing things that are not trustworthy, or is it that you have a deeper issue with insecurity, with fear of being abandoned, fear of being rejected, or traded up for someone better?”

If your boyfriend has been acting untrustworthy, causing you to feel uncomfortable, confront him about it!  It might be time for you to get out of that relationship.  If that is not the case however, you need to learn to trust.  While you may not be the prettiest or smartest girl in the world, your boyfriend clearly likes you for who you are, so there is no need to compare yourself to other girls.  Embrace the qualities that make you who you are because your boyfriend clearly appreciates them, too.

HCXO,

Diana

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Diana Weinstein

U Mass Amherst