It’s that weird time of year when we’re a little more than half-way through the semester but far from done. Everyone’s crunching for midterms, making summer plans, and stressing about finals that are already around the corner. During these stressful times, the idea of failing can seem daunting, especially when you’re under pressure to be the best version of yourself in college. But don’t get too hung up over failure! Who knows, someday you might even be grateful for the way things worked out (even if it took a lot of bouts with failure to get where you are).
- Let yourself grieve
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No matter how much you beast it at the gym, or how many motivational quotes you read, sometimes you just need to give yourself time to feel. It might take you a while to accept that you failed, but just be patient. Soon, you’ll realize that there will be more opportunities where you will rise above the so-called failure you’ve been beating yourself up about. Honestly, this is probably not said enough but remember that it’s OK to have bad days. After all, how would you know what’s good for you if you’ve never dealt with the bad?
- Reflect on the situation
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After you’ve let yourself grieve for a reasonable period of time, take some time to reflect on what happened. While reflecting, try not to find things to blame for what happened and instead think about the circumstances that brought about the situation and what you could’ve done differently. For example, if you failed a midterm – then maybe reflect on the reasons you failed. Did you not prepare well enough? Was the midterm extremely hard? Were you distracted by something else? If it helps organize your thoughts, write down a few reasons why you think that you didn’t do as well as you expected. Reflection will help you make a game-plan for the changes you’ll have to make to do better in the future.
- Seek support from friends and family
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When you’re dealing with something as painful as failure, it’s easy to forget that you’re not alone. The people who love you and who truly matter will not judge you for your shortcomings. You tend to be your toughest critic. So, surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself. Listen to their kind words instead of that cruel voice inside your head that might be telling you that you’re not good enough. At times when you can’t talk to a loved one, just ask yourself – would you treat someone you loved the way you’re treating yourself now?
- Most importantly, move on
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OK I know it’s much easier said than done but Dory had it right when she told us to just keep swimming. Let’s face it: things don’t always go our way. But that’s the way life works and sometimes we just have to accept that we can’t control everything that happens to us. No matter what, constantly remind yourself that you are not defined by your failures, but you are defined by your reactions to your failures. Literally, go swimming if you have to but keep moving forward no matter how much you feel like giving up.
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