Back in January, I made a New Year’s resolution. I had big plans to quit social media, stop rotting my brain, and read more books. But like every other New Year’s resolution I have ever made, I didn’t follow through. I am now entering March, having read no books, and with more screen time than ever. I wake up in the morning and get my fix from Instagram reels during my mandatory 45-minute doom scroll. In the evenings, I have trained my brain to fall asleep only if I fry it with cheap TV shows on Netflix or Disney+. I am watching the same things over and over again, and the same reels keep looping. My brain has turned to mush. It doesn’t want to learn or consume unless the point of a story fits under a minute, or if it’s romanticized, with washed-out actors dancing around each other and falling in love. The worst part of it all is that I’m tired. I am exhausted at the end of the day and feel nauseous when I open Instagram.
I crave connection and honest forms of communication. I want to learn something and feel something again. I want to feel emotional about the characters, not just judge whether this stranger on the internet deserves my like. It is tiring being beholden to my phone. I don’t want anyone, or anything, to ever have this much control over my mind again.
As we are heading into March, the third month of 2026, I have decided to make a change. But instead of going cold turkey like I tried to do back in January, I am just going to incorporate more reading into my life.
I have a laundry list of phenomenal books people have recommended to me over the years that I have failed to read because of my addiction, so I am making it a goal to read a little bit each day. Obviously, the goal is to scroll less eventually, but for now, my main objective is to read a book from start to finish and really enjoy it. I don’t want to feel like I have to do it because it is a book for school; I want to do it because I chose the book and bought it myself, intending to read it.
I am starting on this book-reading quest with Sylvia Plath’s only novel, The Bell Jar. While I am a poetry fanatic and have read most of her poetry and other works, my short attention span has never allowed me to sit down and read her novel. I am on page 71 and loving it so far.
While it still takes constant effort to put my phone away and sit down to actually read the book, I have found that I feel more rested and better than I would if I were to spend all that time on my phone.
While this newfound motivation to read partially comes from my competitive nature towards myself and the goals I set, it also comes from a place of rebellion. Like many US citizens today, I am deeply unsettled by everything that is happening in our political climate.
When the initial release of the Epstein Files happened, I found myself spending hours doom scrolling not only the files themselves but also conspiracy theories and other people’s concerns and worries on Instagram. I went from being informed to being obsessed with misinformation. I was fearful and anxious.
While my worries are justifiable, it is also the feeling that our current administration wants us to feel. They want us to be overwhelmed, anxious, and unaware of what to do next, and to stay silent. They want us to bounce off each other online and fill our heads with AI-generated nonsense to the point of exhaustion and desensitization. But I refuse to let this happen to myself.
Obviously, I am staying educated. I am reading news from trustworthy global sources and local sources about UMass and my hometown. I am paying attention, but I am not chomping at the bit for the next release of information. I am merely awake and informed.
I am currently halfway across the globe and unable to protest and support my local communities outside of making donations and boycotting brands that support the Trump administration and ICE. So, for me, this simple act of protecting my news diet and only allowing accurate, well-sourced information into my consciousness is an act of rebellion. I am refusing to give in to their fear while still paying attention.
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