I used to think finding love had an expiration date. In high school, everyone around me seemingly experienced something — first kisses, heartbreak, dates, “situationships”, or even the bragging rights: “yeah, my boyfriend gave me flowers the other day.” Meanwhile, I had nothing. I felt like the turtle in a never-ending race, and I simply could never catch up.
So, when I arrived at college, I assumed the same identity. Reserved, content, and quietly insecure. A few plot twists along the way, I finally understand something I wish I knew sooner: love is far less about timing on the clock, and far more about timing in your life.
My lack of dating in high school was this dramatic choice. Whenever I was asked the question, I would simply say that I was too busy or that I genuinely did not find someone I could connect with. In reality, I simply believed nothing was good enough. I did not want to date just because I felt obligated to. I wanted it to feel intentional. In turn, this made me skeptical and reserved.
Coming to college, I felt like I had turned a new leaf. I gave myself the chance to be open to finding love. Somewhere between the hallway glances and the late-night walks, I found myself catching feelings for the first time in a real way. What I didn’t realize was, the thought of being in a relationship was SO MUCH EASIER than actually being in one.
The four years haven’t been easy, from heartbreak and feeling lost, to picking myself back up and starting all over again. But every relationship, experience, and moment has taught me something about myself that I couldn’t have learnt earlier, because I wasn’t ready earlier. And that’s okay.
Knowing yourself Makes everything better
Waiting meant I dated when I actually knew what I wanted. As someone who has only been in two relationships her entire life (all within my college years), I didn’t fall for people because I needed validation, but experiencing two different kinds of love made me appreciate and love myself more than I ever could. The waiting game worked only because I knew my worth. If there is one takeaway from this article, it is to anticipate love only if it matches how much you love yourself. You are smart, kind, and beautiful, and never let anyone make you think otherwise.
Love doesn’t follow a schedule
There is no “right age” or “right moment” to start dating. I thought I was delayed or inexperienced, but really, people come into your life at different times. Love doesn’t show up just because other people have it. The right person comes along when you least expect it, and sometimes, some people will come back into your life when you are ready.
Confidence attracts better people
Throughout college, I worked on getting a clearer sense of myself and naturally gravitated towards healthier dynamics. Confidence doesn’t make dating easier, but it makes it more honest. Being content with myself is something I am most proud of. Relationships come and go, but having your own back is constant.
If you are reading this and you feel like you’re the only one who hasn’t dated yet, you are not alone. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not late. You’re not inexperienced. You’re not less desirable or less mature. You’re just waiting for your life to line up with the right people, and that’s more common than anyone admits.
I used to think love had a timeline. Now, I think timing reveals itself only in hindsight. The person I became during these years is the reason I finally felt ready for love in the first place. So, being a turtle in this twisted love game is apparently the perfect player to be. Slow and steady wins the race. And honestly? This timing was perfect for me.
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