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Mental Health

How I’m Learning to Not Be So Hard on Myself and Why You Should Too

Being hard on yourself – it’s something I definitely have struggled with and I know it’s something many people deal with too. They say that you are your biggest critic, and I fully agree with that. So how do we stop this? I’m here to help give you some advice on how to be a little easier on yourself and to learn to forgive yourself.

Treat yourself how you would want a significant other or a friend to treat you: If you realize that you say negative things about yourself on the daily, take a second and think how would you feel if your S.O. said this or even your best friend? You’d probably be hurt right? This language can have negative effects on us even when we don’t realize it. Start changing your mindset into talking kinder to yourself and how you would talk to others.


self care isnt selfish sign
Photo by Madison Inouye from Pexels

Learn to compliment yourself: Every day, try and find something that you like about yourself. It doesn’t have to be physical either! Take a look in the mirror and consider things such as “I love my determination and perseverance,” “I love how I listen to others,” or even “I’m having a really good hair day today.” Soon, it’ll become easier and you’ll find more and more things you love about yourself.

Take self-care days: I recently started reading every night and I’m so happy I did. It’s time I spend with just myself to relax and forget about the stress of everyday life. I also forgot how much I loved baths, face masks, and even exfoliating. Self-care also doesn’t need to be physical care, though. It can include taking a day to watch a new show, ordering your favorite dish from a restaurant, or taking a trip to Target. There are so many ways to self-care to better your mental health.


Self-care
Photo by Maddi Bazzocco from Unsplash

Learn to forgive and apologize to yourself: We all make mistakes, and sometimes it’s hard to let go of ones that we made ourselves. You failed that exam? Yes, that can be really discouraging and can even hurt, but it’s also important to know that it doesn’t define you. Next time you’ll study differently and get a better result. It’s hard, but with practice, this mindset can be really helpful and healthier.

Consider the circumstances you’re under: Are you being harder on yourself throughout the pandemic? Are you dealing with a family emergency? Are you sick? Know that everyone is dealing with something, and there are factors that impact our mental/physical health that translate into how we deal with our everyday lives. Take into consideration what your life looks like and if events may be affecting you more than you realize, which is okay!

I hope these tips can help you think differently about yourself, and how you treat yourself. It’s okay to be nice to yourself! Doing these things can really change the way you think about yourself and better your mental health. After all, you should be your best friend.

Elizabeth Mooney

U Mass Amherst '22

As a senior at UMass Amherst, Elizabeth Mooney is studying Community Education and Social Change and is so excited to be writing for HerCampus for her third year! She writes articles on lifestyle, relationships, and college life so check them out! Feel free to follow her Instagram: @lizmooney02
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