I never wanted to go to the University of Massachusetts, Amherst. In fact, when I graduated high school and went off to college, I didn’t go to UMass. I attended Roger Williams University in Bristol, Rhode Island. My long term boyfriend of three years opted to go to UMass, and we decided to stay together and make it work. The only problem? I was miserable and he was having the time of his life.
Roger Williams was too small for me. I spent high school being well-behaved and I was one of those girls that went a little too crazy. After my first weekend I was already in trouble with the University. But my boyfriend never had an issue. I felt like I was drowning while he was flourishing. I hid out in my room and had to deal with a crazy roommate, he joined a frat and made tons of new friends. Thus it was a no brainer when it came to the weekends; I was heading to UMass.
UMass was more fun in two days than the two weeks I was at Roger Williams. I came back again and again, making friendships and attending parties that I had never imagined. When spring rolled around, it was no surprise that I decided to transfer to UMass for the upcoming fall. Not to mention I had so many violations at Roger Williams that I pretty much had to leave. I was okay with that though. It meant going to this amazing school, being back with my high school boyfriend, and nothing but new adventures. Excitement was in the air, and nothing could go wrong!
That was until the July before I started, when my long term high school boyfriend broke up with me and cut off complete contact. I was devastated. I had just rearranged my entire life for us to be together, and that was how he repaid me? How was I going to survive UMass? Everyone was sophomores and knew each other! I wasn’t going to have any friends or plans for the weekends. The only friends I had there were the ones I made through him! I couldn’t survive UMass without him…
It was then that I thought maybe not attending UMass would be best.
After much arguing about bills and education, it was decided by my Dad that I couldn’t not go to UMass. I couldn’t just quit school. That was the plan and we were sticking to it. So I went, unsure about the future and terrified at what was going to happen next. I was so angry that I had decided to attend UMass, and had already decided that after first semester I was transferring out and moving back home.
I’m glad I didn’t because it turned out that attending UMass was the best decision of my life.
I got placed with random roommates who were fantastic. One invited me out with her friends on the weekends and let me get dinner with her (thanks again, Delia). I contacted one of the girls who I had been friendly with when visiting my boyfriend, and she welcomed me with open arms despite the fact she knew him first (owe ya one, Amanda). Between the two of them I met more people and more friends. My hometown guy friends introduced me to even more. Between all of them I got the greatest thing I ever could have gotten here: a family. The kind of family that makes coming to UMass feel like home, more than any other location I’ve ever lived. The kind of family that I know if I called any one of them in distress (which I have) they would answer and be there in a heartbeat, not a second thought. They are the kind of people that are going to outlast any educational lessons I’ll learn at UMass.
It took a bit to realize, but I now know that my high school boyfriend breaking up with me was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I never would have met the people I did if I was still with him. I never would have taken the classes I did. Not only did I gain so much, but the things that I lost weren’t so bad either. Let’s face it: I was more than happy to never have to shower at the Sig Ep frat house ever again.
Sometimes life plans change without a warning. Sometimes nothing works out the way you wanted it to. The biggest thing I’ve learned is this: that’s okay. It’s okay when things don’t work out, it’s okay that things change. Because the issues that seem like they are going to ruin your life could turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you.
College, no matter what year you are in, is all about being a learning experience. I’m a junior who is single for the first time, finally opening up my social circle to anyone I want. Every day I thank the bad things that have happened to me and in my life, because without that I would never be where I am today.
So collegiettes™, here’s my advice: take the good and the bad with a stride. Knowing that even though the moon gets empty, it’s always full again at some point. And if you need a real life example, here I am. I was all but thrown out of my first University, lost someone who I thought at one point would always be in my life, and changed all my life plans to follow that. Yeah, I came to UMass for a boy. But I stayed for me.
And as I start my Junior year, I know this: I’ve never been happier.