Have you ever felt like you’ve worked all day, you’re exhausted, you have a headache, and you need a break? You go to watch TV or lay down in bed, but as you do so, those unchecked to-do list items still linger in the back of your mind. Ah! I need to do my laundry. I need to start that paper. I need to text Becky and tell her I can’t make it, your mind screams. Suddenly, the relief of laying in bed is replaced with the feeling of guilt. You feel ashamed for practicing self-care when you didn’t finish your work. But I’m so burnt out! How can I feel this tired when I did nothing today?
It’s time to learn how to let those feelings go. And the key to letting these feelings go is to accept them first!
When we want to be productive, we often become hard on ourselves. And with good reason! If we didn’t have a certain level of discipline, we would never be able to get through the boring moments of school or work. However, sometimes productivity can become toxic when it comes to our mental health. Sometimes we need a break, and we know when we need a self-care night. But sometimes our to-do list doesn’t understand that, so we start to doubt when we actually need to stop working.
I’ve heard plenty of tricks on how to be more productive. Make realistic to-do lists, do the hardest thing first, use the Pomodoro method, limit distractions, and take breaks. Then, when people started having more public conversations about mental health, I learned the importance of taking care of yourself! Have a routine, exercise, have a consistent sleep schedule, and make time for self-care. Both these tips on productivity and self-care are useful! However, when having conversations about the two, they are never really talked about in the same sentence. Working and relaxing are two different things, but there is one thing that makes both of these experiences worth it to you; self-compassion.
Being self-compassionate means being kind, understanding, and encouraging to yourself. The mantra “Believe in yourself” is self-compassion! Being kind to yourself can help you become more productive, as replacing negative thoughts with positive ones is encouraging. However, if you only associate self-compassion with growing yourself professionally, how are you going to feel when you need a break?
So, to avoid those negative emotions when you’re lying in bed, build long-term goals of how you want to implement self-compassion into your work-and-rest routine. One tip I’ve learned from my therapist is to attach a phrase to the beginning of negative thoughts. When asking, How can I feel this tired when I did nothing today?, I rephrase the thought to I’m having the thought that… I’m tired. I’m having the thought that… I did nothing today. This helps me understand my thought process and gives me the ability to recognize that what I’m thinking isn’t always positive. I repeat this short-term trick to achieve my long-term goal of identifying and reframing negative thoughts. And this long-term goal will help me achieve my lifetime goal of being compassionate towards myself.
Also, being self-compassionate is not only needed in learning how to work productively or how to relax guilt-free. Self-compassion is about learning who you are when you are caring for your emotions. Learning how to be kind to yourself will help you be yourself in every situation you are in. So, give yourself a break, believe me when I say you’re doing great!
Can’t get enough of HC UMass Amherst? Be sure to follow us on Instagram, listen to us on Spotify, like us on Facebook, and read our latest Tweets!