Flash back to your second grade classroom: pink-frosted cupcakes and heart shaped cookies dispersed among a pile of valentines that overwhelm each desktop. Some valentines are homemade, others are store-bought, folded and sealed with a heart sticker. But, without fail, there is at least one box of candy hearts mixed in among the bunch. Having peeled open the cardboard top you lift the box and pour out its contents: pale pink, lavender, yellow and green inscribed “Be Mine,” “Kiss Me,” and “Call Me.” Flash forward ten years, and we’ve learned a thing or two about love. Bravo’s Housewives help us out with a candy heart for every occasion:
FRIEND ME
He’s finally accepted your friend request and liked your profile picture…
WHO’S SHE?!
We’ve all been there. If he’s talking to her, we hate her.
DO I LOOK FAT?
When you’re onto your 16th outfit and there’s 5 minutes until your reservation…
STFU
When his ex-girlfriend harasses you at a party…
CHEATER
When he says he made a mistake and tells you how much he loves you…
IT’S OVER
When he decides he’s ready to get back together…
4EVER ALONE
You’ve broken up and traded in makeup and wedges for Netflix and ice cream…
FACEBOOK OFFICIAL
When he finally sends you the relationship request…
WHAT R WE
When he refuses to commit…
WE HAD PLANS
When he cancels at the last minute…
STRIKE 3
When he’s done his last wrong and you need a night out with the girls…
HE’S MINE
When he finally commits…
I STALK U
When you “accidentally” know his every move …
I’M FINE…
Your response whenever he’s done something SO obviously stupid…
Candy hearts really do say it all. Have a Happy Valentine’s Day!