I spent two weeks doing things alone and this is what I noticed.
To start, I am a particularly independent introvert, but I enjoy my own company in private; being in public, doing activities, and navigating social situations alone is a whole different thing. I was driven to expand my comfort zone and challenge myself to be more social; ironically, that started with getting comfortable doing things alone. I started by going out to eat alone, reading, and taking walks, and I found myself talking to strangers and meeting people doing the same things. It forced me to spark conversations with people I wouldn’t have talked to otherwise.
Testing the waters
As I got more comfortable being alone in public, I moved into social situations: clubs, sports and community events. I put myself in situations where I was forced to talk to and meet new people. Many of them turned out to be like-minded individuals. In the past, when I went to social events with my friends, I did not feel the need to speak to people I did not know. Going alone was scary at first; thoughts of rejection and fear paralyzed me and kept me from tackling awkward, uncomfortable situations. The thing about social skills is that the more I practiced, the quieter my anxious thoughts became. The more I practiced, the easier it was to be unfazed by rude or unpleasant interactions.
The results
I believe practicing this changed my energy. I used to leave my house giving off the vibe that I do not want to talk to people, and I do not want people to approach me. I think people subconsciously pick up on that anxious energy and stay away. Still, since I have been doing things alone, I have adopted a new energy: I am okay with talking to people, and a small conversation might make my day better. I have noticed my demeanor, and even subtle changes in my facial expressions, are now more inviting. Sometimes it is as simple as someone asking to sit at my empty table or complimenting something I’m wearing; it isn’t always life-changing, but each interaction feels like a connection rather than something scary or foreign.
Doing things alone did two things for me: it helped me feel more comfortable with myself and learn more about myself, and it primed me to be better at social interactions and feel more comfortable making friends. Of course, I still value my close friends and the time I spend with them, but for my personal growth, I think it was essential to push out and expand my world. I believe this made me a better person with a more positive demeanor, along with other forms of self-reflection and positivity practices. I was able to lessen my social anxiety and expand my social world. Like anyone, I’m imperfect, so I still experience times when doing something alone scares me, but it’s a process, and there is always room to grow. I encourage others to try the same, stay safe, and explore the world and yourselves.
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