The passage of time is terrifying. The older we get, the faster life seems to speed by. As my dad always says: “the days are long, but the years fly by.” As I near the end of my junior year in college, this sentiment undeniably rings true.
When I was younger and still growing out the bangs my mom loved on both my sister and me, I constantly wondered what I’d be like in my twenties. I knew I was going to turn out cool, as every female twenty-something in my life was cool – there was no way I wasn’t going to be cool in college. I expected that one day, I would look in the mirror and be like “Wow, I’ve really blossomed into a cool young woman.” But, admittedly, I still see glimpses of the little girl that used to ponder her transformation into adulthood. And no doubt am I still expecting to magically become the ideal I’ve always grappled with.
When I first stepped foot onto the UMass Amherst campus freshman year, I did not feel cool like little Nora presumed I would be. I felt flustered and way too far away from the comforts that surrounded me at home. I felt too young and too naive to be venturing into something as substantial as college.
In August, it will be three years since that transition into the college girl life I always hyper-fixated on. And a year from now, I will be preparing myself for the finale of my college experience. It was not without a few hiccups, AKA, a tumultuous eviction from my freshman dorm due to an uncharted virus infiltrating our lives and forcing school to be remote for over a year. But, it was my college experience. This may be a bit presumptuous, as I still have two semesters remaining, and limitless memories to make. Yet, I can’t help but focus on this chapter of my life nearing its close.
Soon, I will venture out into the world, like the actual real-world – beyond the confines of my Amherst bubble situated in charming western Massachusetts. There will be no structure for me to follow. Instead of entering a new domain that high school prepared me for in college, I essentially have nothing planned. Life will be different, school will be reminisced upon for the time being (because who truly knows what the future has in store for any of us), and the growth will be difficult to navigate, yet impossible not to appreciate.
This is quite melodramatic, but it’s my thing. I can’t help but feel things deeply. Little Nora, who is still within me, is shocked she actually has blossomed into that cool young woman (despite it not necessarily aligning with her previous envisions completely, as I’m not exactly at fashion school in New York City). It’s actually happening! I’m growing up, and so are you. Everyone always is. I know I will look back on this and yearn for these moments, that unbeknownst to me were actually more carefree than I could have appreciated.
So if you are also grappling with becoming a senior, or adjusting to a significant life change, take a moment to embrace the uncertainty. Revel in what you do not yet know. Change is scary, but so is staying the same! Everything will work out, even if it means the magic of college years may be coming to an end. It’s time to make space for new experiences, and welcome growth with open arms.
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