When prompted to write about my identity, I don’t know if I fully can. There are parts of me that are ever changing and evolving as I grow into myself and my passions. At the same time, there are parts of me that will never change and keep me grounded in who I am and where I come from. I’m a Black woman, I came from a Black woman, and I find identity in being a Black woman. I’m Somali, which gives me the culture and roots I identify with. And while I find myself in all of these things, I still struggle finding my individuality as I’ve come to college this past fall.
I feel like at times, there’s a certain mold I have to fit to “prove” myself to others. There’s a certain standard placed on you as a Black woman, where you feel like you have to be constantly defying a stereotype or proving your capabilities to others. At the same time, there’s pressure from my own community to prove my identity, to prove my Black femininity and my adherence to my culture. It has made it difficult to find my own individuality because I find myself so wrapped up in trying to make myself palatable to those around me. The notion of being too “stereotypical” or too “whitewashed” is constantly in the back of my mind, which keeps me from exploring my passions to their fullest potential.
I look up to women like Willow Smith and other artists who made room for Black women in the realms of alternative and pop-punk music. She’s opened up about how she and Jaden Smith have felt rejected from the Black community for their personal expression, but I challenge us to embrace our versatility and individuality. I feel like we shouldn’t fall into the notion that there is only one way to express Black femininity, when we are all so unique. We need to uplift Black women in all spaces, including those that are predominantly white.
I’m still finding my identity, and I think there’s nothing wrong with that. As individuals we are constantly changing and evolving into new versions of ourselves, and nobody is born knowing exactly who they are. In the future, I want to cling to things that bring me joy, even if it makes me less “Black” or “feminine” in the eyes of others. At the end of the day, to be Black and a woman is a constant, and nothing can take that away from me.
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