Two things cement a girl’s coming-of-age: buying her first tube of lipstick and watching Sex and the City for the first time.
Despite some questionable lessons, the show remains a messy and funny peek into the lives of four single women — Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha — as they navigate life, love, friendship, and identity in New York City. At a time when most women on TV were portrayed as wives or side characters, the show placed these four protagonists at the center of their own glittering stories. When it first premiered, it was dismissed as a “chick show,” but critics now argue it ushered in a golden age of TV.
At the heart of it, Sex and the City is never just about the sex (or even the city); the show’s core lies in its sisterhood. Each woman serves as a foil to the others: Carrie, the stubborn writer, Miranda, the realist lawyer, Charlotte, the idealist and hopeless romantic, and Samantha, the unapologetic hedonist. These completely distinct personalities make it easy for audiences to identify with one of them, increasing their relatability. You watch it thinking of your own morning debriefs with your friends or even the late-night calls you often have — talking about your next bad decision.
As you watch them argue and laugh and forgive each other over brunch, you feel something familiar and comforting in their interactions. The show’s relevance lies in its deep bond and how quickly you feel like you are a part of it.
In these brunch moments, the show’s portrayal of female sexuality was boldly revolutionary. Showing that women could want, pursue, and talk about sex unapologetically from the get-go was a rare kind of openness on television.
Throughout the show, fashion is an ever-present character in its own right. Each character’s unique style was so exquisite that every outfit became a statement of identity. Bold, sometimes chaotic, but always expressive. The Manolo Blahniks and John Galliano of the show told stories far beyond what a simple plotline could. It expanded the show’s narrative while remaining beautiful.
However, for all its glitz and glamour, Sex and the City was far from perfect. The show’s transphobic jokes, lack of racial diversity, and class blind remarks haven’t aged well. For example, characters of color primarily play service roles, often in performative ways.
Still, what made the show so compelling was its self-awareness. The show is aware its characters are deeply flawed, and they don’t pretend otherwise. In its messiness, it was honest in the mistakes it made.
Its contradictory nature is why the show has lasted the test of time. Watching it, there’s nothing more you want to be than a woman living in the big city, lunching with friends as you talk about “having it all.” Even when what “all” encompasses is constantly changing, you know your friends will still be there at the end of the day.
So, after my recent rewatch, I couldn’t help but wonder … maybe Sex and the City stands the test of time because it never tried to be perfect. It showed us that growing up wasn’t about finding “the one” but about finding yourself, especially in your relationship with your friends.
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