When told that there is a difference between living and being alive, many people scoff at the idea. The notion that life simply is what it is and we just have to go through the motions is a bleak but common one. We are put on this beautiful, complicated, amazing place called Earth for such a short period of time, yet we are expected to go through the motions and always look for more. If you are constantly searching for something other than who you are and what you have, it is impossible to enjoy the life you live. That is how society has created us, though, to always be reaching for bigger and better, never to be content with where we are. The one thing that is certain in our immensely different and unpredictable lives is that they do not last forever. We are in charge of making it count and truly living every moment, not just physically being alive.
living for myself
I have recently been going through a lot of changes in my life: both physical and mental. Some of them are inevitable, as time goes on, I get older, and things that I love begin to fade away (like the fact that I am almost halfway through college). Others are simply aspects of life that change as I grow and develop from the person that I was. It is so easy to get caught up in all of this that we start to hyper-fixate on what is going to happen and lose sight of the goodness we are living in every day. Changes will happen, both good and bad, but we move on. Change is a part of life, whether we like it or not, and the need to stop it ensures that we will always be longing for the past and afraid of what is to come. But what about the present? What part of our brain gets to focus on right now? I am so guilty of missing things that are not even gone yet, so much to the extent that it is impossible to look at my life fully the way it is. Living in any realm of time that isn’t the current here and now robs us of the opportunity to live the life we truly long for and deserve.Â
It sounds cheesy to say that sitting by myself and people watching has changed my life for the better, but it is the truth. As I sit on my beautiful college campus while the weather turns from dreary grey to a beautiful sunny blue, I am able to see life the way it should be. Everyone around me is laughing with one another, waving at people they know walking past, playing yard games on the lawn, and most importantly everyone is living in the now. They took this heavenly moment to pause and simply do what brings them joy. Whether that is alone or with the people that bring light into their life, they are embodying what it means to live. That is what life is all about, and that is what allows us to get everything we can out of the time we have.
how to live for yourself
Learning to live also means learning to let go. Let go of your past, your worries, and the things that do not make you feel full. Stepping into the unknown can be scary, but it is necessary to make sure we are our best selves. Things that do not bring you joy do not deserve to be in your life. We only have so much time here, and if we willingly spend it doing things we don’t enjoy or putting ourselves in negative situations, then we are killing our opportunity to live fully and happily. This can mean letting go of things and even people that you did love and that used to bring you joy, and that is perfectly okay. Change can be sad and for the better at the same time. You owe it to no one to stay in a situation that doesn’t fit you anymore– remember that. Your life is yours, and no one else’s, so you have to live it the way that makes you want to get up and smile every day.
With all of the outside noise and the things we want for our future, living in the moment can feel like the hardest thing. But these are the moments you will look back on fondly and smile, thinking about the joy you lived with. Learning to change your mindset and make a new, better life for yourself is a definite task, but it can start whenever you want it to. Now is also the perfect time, with the beautiful weather beginning and certain chapters (like the school year) coming to a close. If you are stuck, I recommend listening to “The Middle Of Starting Over” by Sabrina Carpenter. It altered my perspective on change and what life can be, and I hope it can do the same for you. Life is not about simply breathing, existing, and going through the motions; it is about finding the beauty in every day and exploring that to the fullest.
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