The college dating gauntlet… 30,000 people, seemingly infinite possibilities, and yet I still downloaded a dating app. My freshman year, I was primarily focused on making friends and adjusting to college life. I thought, if I attended class, I’d meet someone along the way. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve met some amazing people, but no one has screamed, “relationship material” yet. How many people are on this campus? Relationships can’t be that hard to find. My parents met on the second day of college. My mom was lost and searching for her math class when she bumped into my dad, who was coincidentally in the same class. They hit it off and performed in the marching band together, eventually marrying after college. I understand their story isn’t the norm. I’m not looking to star in a rom-com here… I don’t even like romance movies! I just assumed relationships would be easier, so after months of watching my friends play the Hinge game, I finally caved and downloaded the app.
On Hinge, there are some features to help personalize your profile and hopefully reach your target audience. Every user can choose three different open-ended written prompts. The options range from sentence starters about your type, personal life, self-care, the world, to “date vibes.” This is just an abbreviated list of categories someone can choose from. Upon downloading the app, I thought I knew my relationship goals, my hobbies, and my type. In reality, when I brainstormed my prompts, I really struggled to encapsulate my personality and hobbies on such an impersonal platform. Online dating isn’t real, all the photos I uploaded were curated… almost cold, a caricature of myself. Nobody is a walking Instagram photo in real life! Eventually, I decided to add at least one candid photo of myself, and three photos of my hobbies to help bridge gap between my digital persona and realistic self.
I love gardening, so I included a photo of a picotee begonia. I had planted the bulb in my backyard and watered it throughout the summer. Anyone who is a serious gardener knows picotee begonias are the prima donnas of the plant world. Every time it rained, my mom and I had to go outside and wipe off the flowers because the leaves would get irritated if there was water on them. What kind of plant can’t get wet? I had to include the flower in my profile after all that work because genuinely keeping it alive was an accomplishment. My other two hobby-oriented photos were of silk-screening prints I had carved myself and framed. The other three photos were various selfies from parties and events. I got the most engagement with my hobby-oriented photos and written prompts. My first prompt was “My love language is humor and book recommendations.” My second prompt was “I go crazy for gardening, silkscreening, pomegranate green tea, black coffee, walking my dog, late-night adventures, and medium-difficulty sudoku.” My last prompt was “unusual skills: scuba diving, mountain biking, forgetting to charge my phone, and forgetting people’s names…”
The written prompts were the hardest part of my profile. I was unsure of what to write regarding my hobbies and passions. I didn’t play soccer all the time, hike on the weekends, or ski at college. My major had monopolized most of my time. When I wasn’t in a 3-hour lab, I studied for calculus or physics exams. After I failed to list hobbies on Hinge, I took a step back and really considered what clubs I was involved in. In my freshman year, I only joined the ice-skating club and went out on the weekends. From then on out, I made a conscious effort to join more clubs: Her Campus, intramural girls’ soccer, and UMOC. After downloading Hinge, I realized I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship. I didn’t even have hobbies!
Today, I continue to write for Her Campus, hike with my friends, ice skate, and play intramural soccer. I’m meeting new people in my major, my classes, and in new clubs. I don’t need apps to find a partner. After a month on Hinge, my best advice for online dating is… don’t.
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