As we get older, it is clear that we gain more knowledge and lessons. On my TikTok, many influencers have been sharing what they knew in their twenties. I wanted to explore this topic and decided to interview my dear friend, Liv O’Connor. Some of our recent conversations have revolved around growth, self-love, and wellness. This interview is meant to be a reflection for both Liv and my audiences. I hope you all are able to take away valuable lessons from the interview!
Name: Olivia O’Connor
Age: 22
School Year: Graduate Student in Public Health
Hometown: Warwick, New York
Nia Hppyolite: How has your sense of self progressed as you have gotten older?
Liv O’Connor: “My sense of self has progressed a lot since I’ve gotten older. Ever since I was younger, I had a strong sense of individuality whether it was my expressions, my humor, [or] how I engaged in my relationships.”
Liv describes how she was able to develop her sense of self throughout college. In addition, she states how she felt stuck in her small town. While she loves her town and the friends she made there she felt like there was almost a limit to how she could express herself. “A limit that I put on myself without even realizing.”
During the interview, she labels college as a fresh start. She asks herself these important aspects of life to think about while in college: “how do I want to spend my time? What types of friendships do I feel support me and nourish me in who I am? What makes me happy?”
She describes exploring independence in college and its meaning. She mentions learning how to support herself through being in different situations and contexts throughout her life. “Learning how I just show up for myself is a big thing about how I have learned to express myself.”
Liv describes how she has learned how to be honest with herself. She describes getting to know herself well and the settings that make her happy and not forcing herself to do something because others are participating. “Thinking so much less about abiding by any sort of norms or doing something for other people, but just doing things for myself.”
NH: What is the meaning of self-love to you?
LO: “Showing up for yourself, for me, has been self-love. Mentally [and] emotionally as an individual I’ve been through a lot that has made me see what isn’t self-love that I thought was. Listening to myself. Listening to my body. Listening to my feelings. For a long time, I didn’t do that. I often find myself sacrificing my wants and my needs for the needs and wants of other people because I love them and that’s how I care for people. Learning about how I [could] show myself love was knowing the boundaries for that. If I thought I was showing up for other people, but it meant a depletion from my own sense of energy and feelings and everything, then that wasn’t actually authentically showing up for them.”
Liv mentions the importance of authenticity and intention. Liv describes how it was hard to be present during the pandemic, due to not being in touch with her feelings. “Our energy is precious and it’s important to respect that [and] respect the boundaries of it.”
NH: How do insecurities transfer onto your relationships? What do you do to prevent this from occurring?
LO: “I’ve definitely experienced insecurities transferring into my relationship, whether or not I tried to avoid it.” Liv mentions how in romantic relationships, we sometimes try to hide our insecurities and not talk about them…yet they end up becoming the elephant in the room in a lot of situations. Liv mentions how important it is to understand when ourselves and others project our insecurities onto situations and the people we care about, as well as the importance of talking about them.
She mentions how getting into a relationship during the pandemic made her experience insecurities in terms of surface level and material things. You could get anything you wanted at your fingertips. Social media was omnipresent. Liv and her partner have gotten through insecurities by addressing them. “[Realize] you don’t have to be embarrassed about them.” In her relationship she describes, holding space to solely listen to what [they] have to say is important.
She mentions having trouble opening up about her insecurities and where they come from. “I’m doing both of us a disservice if I’m holding it in and avoiding it.” She mentions telling her partner when she needs extra support or affirmations when she finds herself in a hard space. In addition, she mentions that they are both able to call out when they are projecting things. Liv recognizes the importance of accountability and apologizing to each other when needed.
I took so much from this interview and I hope you can as well. As Liv said, it is so important to be authentic with yourself and the energies you as well as others give. I hope to take these essential lessons with me as I learn and grow as a person.
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