After some careful people watching during the first month of school, I think it’s necessary to address the absolute worst wardrobe choices men can make. Bear with me and my sass throughout this article (I think you’ll thank me later).
1. Chubbies
Unless you’ve got perfectly sculpted quads, don’t even consider picking up a pair of these. I’m sorry to say it, but these European-esque/Hamptons-style shorts are pushing it for your average (usually pale) New Englander.
2. Man rings
Unless you are married or engaged, please steer clear of rings. I totally commend you for publicly showing off your devotion to your significant other with a nice wedding band. However, any ring that could potentially be worn anywhere besides your ring finger needs to go.
3. Cargo shorts
SO. MANY. POCKETS. I don’t understand when or why these ever became popular. Why do you need so many pockets?! What are you keeping in there?
4. Headbands
The general rule is…
If Tom Brady can’t pull it off, then you can’t.
Unless you have long hair and actually need to pull it back for an athletic event, headbands on men should be an absolute no-no.
5. Transition sunglasses
Alright. Never, ever on a college campus do I want to see another pair of transition sunglasses. It’s okay for 7-year-olds or 70-year-olds who are unable to consciously switch between the two. It’s a little weird when your glasses still think it’s sunny when you’re in a lecture hall.
6. Crocs
While this especially goes for men, I firmly believe that no human being (man or woman) should be wearing crocs. Please save these for lakes and gardening.
7. Jeans below your butt
It saddens me that this didn’t go out of style back in the 90’s. How can this even be comfortable? Aren’t you worried about accidentally getting pantsed by the wind, or having to see a life-long chiropractor from all of the waddling?
8. White socks with dress shoes
No, no and no. If you’re getting this dressed up, don’t ruin a whole outfit with a silly sock mistake.
9. Groutfit
[Gr-out-fit] (n.): “Gray” and “outfit” combined.
I understand some people have lazy days now and again, but how about adding another color? Just one more. Please?
Gentlemen, please take note and avoid commiting these style sins.
