Let’s face it: middle school isn’t exactly the high point of anyone’s life. It’s full of awkward body changes, strange fashion trends, and the longing to be independent from our parents. Tween years are often a battle of trying to fit in, so it can be a rough time. Nowadays I laugh at those odd years, but if I could go back in time to give myself some pro tips, I definitely would.
1. Add some diversity to your wardrobe
I know Hollister is all the rage right now, but don’t make Mom buy every colored cotton tee with “Hollister” plastered across the chest. At least don’t wear them everyday. And you definitely don’t need this type of shirt from Abercrombie or Aeropostle, either.
2. Cool it with the Warm Vanilla Sugar spray
I admit Bath & Body Works has delicious smelling scents, and the trial sizes tend to be pretty inexpensive. Regardless, your stockpile of body sprays, hand sanitizers, hand creams, and body washes galore hidden in the bathroom is a little excessive. Please chill. Also, take it easy when you apply it, otherwise you’ll smell like a warm vanilla sugar cookie just exploded on you. All you need is a few spritzes and you’re golden.
3. Don’t be embarrassed by Mom
You and your friends are all in the same boat. You can’t drive, but you desperately want to go to the mall Friday and take pictures in the Apple Store. Someone’s mom will have to be the driver– AKA a lifesaver– so don’t tell her she’s not allowed to go to the mall with you to run errands. She chauffeured you all the way there; it will not be the end of the world if you pass by her in the food court.
4. Your natural hair is beautiful
Please don’t straighten your hair everyday, you’re killing it and you’ll miss your curls when you’re older. Anyway, chances are you’ll miss a piece in the back and will end up putting it in a ponytail. Also, I know the “poof” looks cool (when you clip the front pieces for a bump), but you don’t need it to be as high as Snooki’s.
5. Mom knows about your MySpace
As secretive as you think you are, Mom knows you have a MySpace. She can also see your, er, tasteful profile picture. You know, the bathroom mirror selfie that’s reppin’ your best duck face and a peace sign. Even if you use some weird nickname because you think she won’t find it, she either already has or soon will. Mom knows a lot more than you think, by the way. She knows which friends aren’t good ones and which boy you have a crush on. When she gives you advice, just listen.
6. You don’t have to date
If it seems like everyone is dating, just remember that middle school relationships are not real. That boy in Social Studies may be cute, but chances are he won’t be the guy you marry. Don’t stress. And if you are dating, just remember that what you think is heartbreak now is nothing compared to what it will be later in life… So don’t sweat it just yet. Spend these lighthearted years growing and having fun.
7. Do what you like
As much as I criticize the fads you’re currently obsessing over, you’ve got to embrace these awkward years. If you like wearing Hollister, drenching yourself in body mist, and putting your hair in a tacky poof, then do it. If you want to wear pink and black skater shoes, rock them. But this is the time to start figuring out who you are, so don’t shy away from what you really like. Read a book if you like reading, or play basketball if you want to try it out. Don’t let your peers keep you from trying new things. Find what you like and surround yourself with it.
8. Smile, even with those braces
Please smile, even if you do have a mouth full of metal; you will regret having no smiley pictures when you’re older. Even though you get annoyed when Mom yells at you to smile and that the closed-mouth smirk doesn’t count, she’s right. Embrace that train track smile.
9. Don’t take everything so seriously
The things that you think are big, like who asks you to the dance or how embarrassed you are to bring a lunchbox to school, aren’t as much of a deal as you think. The test you failed in Spanish won’t matter by the time you’re in high school. Colleges don’t look at middle school grades, so don’t stress about earning straight As on every assignment. This is a time of growth, and you will make mistakes along the way. Welcome them with open arms.
10. Bullies are wrong
Don’t listen to the mean kid who called you a nerd or sneered at your outfit. These things will hurt you, and you might even carry the weight of them for years to come, but when you are older and wiser, you will realize that the bullies don’t matter. Remember that everyone is in the same awkward boat, struggling to fit in. You will soon learn that those things they made fun of you for might turn into what you and others will eventually love.
11. High school is good and college is better
High school is usually when you have the freedom to start discovering yourself. You’ll figure out what you like to do and with whom you like to associate yourself. The course work may be heavier and the social dynamic will change, but overall (most) people mature and it is beautiful.
12. Everybody is shaped differently
Middle school is the time bodies start to change: puberty will hit you like a truck. Chances are that you will find something to be insecure about with your body: remember that you’re gaining weight because you are growing and your acne is simply a sign of getting older and wiser. Everyone experiences puberty in different ways and at different times, which means comparing yourself to others isn’t fair. Hang in there. You’ll get through the awkward phase and your hormones will balance out.
Make the best of these years and enjoy them while they last, and remember that it’s all part of your journey. There are awesome, new things to come in the future.