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12 Stages of Having A New Hook Up

We’ve all been there: you’re hooking up with a new guy and you can’t tell if he’s interested in you. Hook ups are supposed to be a “see you when I see you” type of thing, but you two talk at least once a week and he always answers your texts. You tried playing it casual, and he posted up at the bar to watch you all night – but when you pay him attention, his interest wavers. Having a new hook up has many different stages, but here are the main 12.

The Stage: ExcitementIt’s new, it’s fresh, and it’s exciting. You’re trying not to be a dweeb about it, but you’re so freakin’ excited that it’s hard.

The Stage: The Hook UpHe’s hot, fun, and every time you guys meet up, it’s awesome. What’s better than this? Answer: very, very few things. Maybe ice cream, if anything. 

The Stage: The SleepoverSomething about the post-hook up sleepover brings out the best in guys. When he lets you stay over, he’s super nice. Who could say no to those sleepy eyes and that messy hair?

The Stage: After the Hook UpIt’s been a week since you stayed over, and he hasn’t made a move. You’re all types of offended and are likely taking out your anger on a bottle of wine.

The Stage: (Your attempt at) Keeping Yourself CalmHe’s probably busy, right? You’re trying to keep it casual, but his hair is so nice that you’re constantly like:

The Stage: Jealousy Hits, HardI mean it’s not like you’re dating or anything and you don’t really care but seeing him interact with other girls has you like:

The Stage: Intense Social Media Stalking

Now you’re stalking his every move on social media, but it’s still casual and like, NBD. Except for the fact that you’re like:

The Stage: DenialBut if anyone asks, it’s totes casual and you don’t care what he does. Don’t tell him you were asking about him, though.

The Stage: Forget Him!It’s not worth your time to worry – like, at all. Sometimes, you’re like “I just want to drink beer and dance and kiss cute guys. Who needs a boyfriend?

The Stage: …But I don’t want him to forget me!But you definitely want to keep him intrigued. Other times you’re like, “Why doesn’t he like me? I’m cute, I smell nice and on a good day, I wear jeans!” The fact that he’s not in the palm of your hand is a complete and utter travesty.

The Stage: But he’s definitely still interested. ‘Cause if he wasn’t, he’d probably ignore me, right?He always responds to your texts, and it’s like, he has the agency to stop responding if he wasn’t into you, right?

The Stage: I’m so tired that I literally can’t even care about this anymore or I’ll explode.Whatever. You won’t put much thought into it…until he smiles at you and it happens all over again.

Good luck with that new boy, Collegiettes!

Gifs: Cover, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

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Mariah Scafidi

U Mass Amherst

Mariah is a journalism major at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst. She minors in education and hopes to pursue a career in sports and entertainment journalism. She has a penchant for being overly dramatic about celebrities and athletes she doesn't know. You can follow her on Twitter @ryescaf.
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