Although the UMass Amherst campus is huge, most of the boys on campus can easily fit into these twelve categories…
1. The Southwest Bro
Probably one of the easiest to spot on campus, just because these guys think they’re the coolest things to ever walk this campus. Don’t expect to see them in any other residential area though, Southwest bros stick to their own turf. It isn’t out of the ordinary if you see Southwest bros wasted on a Wednesday afternoon; these guys may have missed the memo that college isn’t only about partying.
2. The Frat Boy
You can easily spot the frat boy on campus wearing his Greek letters and boat shoes. While Greek life is only a small percentage of the campus, frat boys tend to travel in packs, so if you see one of them, it’s almost guaranteed that the rest of his brothers are following closely behind him. Freshman year the frat boy seemed really cool, he didn’t live in the dorms and his house had parties all the time. But now? You’ve realized his house is always dirty, and the parties serve warm beer and are too crowded to move.
3. One of the Girls
He’s the friend who’s not afraid to be the only guy hanging out with a bunch of girls. He knows all the juicy drama, and loves to gossip. He’ll come over to watch Pretty Little Liars with you without complaining (and actually enjoy it!), and he’ll never make fun of you for being emotional. He’s the kind of guy friend that you have no filter around; he knows when you’re on your period, who you’re hooking up with, and why you and your friends are fighting (and he usually offers great advice).
4. The Central Stoner
The stoners aren’t always noticeable, but that’s because they’re usually too high to make a scene. You can most likely find these boys either in their room (smoking more weed, of course) or in Frank, satisfying their munchies. No matter where they are, these Central stoners won’t arrive to class, work, or parties without getting high first. This guy’s number one priority is always his girl, Mary Jane.
5. The Overly Attached
He’s the guy that you’ve met once or twice around campus, and he seems to remember a bit too much about you. Whether you meet the overly attached in class or at a party, after the first time he meets you he’s instantly hooked. He remembers every detail you’ve shared to him about your life: your name, major, age, etc. and his feelings are always hurt when you couldn’t quite exactly remember where he lives on campus. While he may have good intentions, the overly attached boy usually gives off a creepy kind of vibe.
6. Forever a Friend
He’s the guy that you instantly hit it off with but have no interest in dating. It may sound cliché (to him, at least) but you value his friendship too much to ever try to see if things would work out between the two of you. No matter how hard he may try, you just don’t see it ever working out romantically between the two of you.
7. The Guy in all your Classes
You may not even know his name, but you could easily spot him in a crowd because he’s been in almost all your classes since freshman year of high school. He’s the guy that shares your major, and the two of you consistently are interested in taking the same classes. He knows who you are, you know who he is, but when you run into him on campus you never know if you should say hello or not.
8. The Lost Puppy
This is the guy who always has a look of confusion on his face. He never seems like he knows what’s going on, and will follow you around because he doesn’t know what else to do. He’s the kid who depends on you to tell him important dates, or else he’ll end up skipping class on the day of an exam.
9. The Genius
This is the kid who’s super smart, and knows it. He enjoys asking the teacher such advanced questions that will demonstrate his depth of knowledge, and if he has any opportunity to prove he knows something a professor doesn’t, he’ll take the opportunity and run with it. If you answer a question wrong in class, have no doubt about it, the genius is judging you, hardcore.
10. New England’s #1 Sports Fan
While most boys love their sports, these are the ones that take their obsession to a whole new level. The only clothes you’ll ever find him wearing have a New England sports team’s logo on them. He’s the boy that sits in the dining hall for three hours right in front of the TV because he’s too afraid that he’ll miss an important part of the game. He knows every stat of every sports team, and if you ever try to challenge one of his teams he will stop at nothing to make you regret it. They’re also convinced that they’re a member of their favorite sports teams, but that’s a whole different story…
11. The Obsessed Boyfriend
This is the guy that won’t even look in your direction because he doesn’t want you to get the wrong idea. Stay away ladies, he is off the market and is not looking to change that anytime soon. You can usually find this guy attached at his girlfriend’s hip at all times, and his Facebook profile picture is always set to a picture of him and his girl.
12. The Girl-Obsessed Boyfriend
And then we have this guy. He may be in a committed relationship but that doesn’t stop him from flirting with every girl he meets. This is the boy who is a self-proclaimed “ladies’ man,” and he thinks that he’s good enough to get other girls while he’s dating someone else. While you may find it weird that a girl would date this guy knowing his tendencies, it’s probably best to just steer clear of him (and his girlfriend).
Have you encountered any of these types of boys, Collegiettes?