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10 Reasons Why You Don’t Need Him to Be Happy

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at U Mass Amherst chapter.

These ideas are not meant to bash an expired relationship or that one boy who just wasn’t ready for you. This is simply a list of the many reasons why you’re singly powerful and therefore capable of creating the happiest, most fulfilling life regardless of whether there’s a him* by your side. Without further ado, I present 10 reasons why you don’t need a boyfriend, boy-toy, boy-anything to be happy. (*The use of male pronouns in this article is for the purpose of simplicity, but is intended to apply to romantic partners of all genders).

1. You define your happiness.

Have you ever thought about what happiness looks or feels like to you? Is it an elevated sense of thrill, contentment, peace or progression? Is it tangible in this present moment or is it something that you have connoted with a future accomplishment? You have the power to define happiness and it’s your individual responsibility to engage in activities and life happenings that evoke, promote and develop this definition. When you recognize that only you — no other person or man — are responsible for your own happiness, you free yourself to experience its wonders.

2. You are whole on your own.

You already have all of the tools that you need to obtain happiness within you. It’s natural to feel empty when you have lost touch with the things that make you feel fulfilled and satisfied in your daily life. When you feel this void, it’s easy to believe that a relationship can fill the missing gap, but I encourage you to recognize your innate wholeness and search for the activities that you may truly be yearning for.

3. Gratitude is a self-practice.

According to research conducted by Dr. Randy Sansone and Dr. Lori Sansone from the Department of Psychiatry and Internal Medicine at Wright State University of Medicine, there’s a strong association between gratitude and overall well-being. Try taking five minutes each day to reflect on what you’re grateful for and give thanks to those who you love.

4. A relationship doesn’t necessarily equal happiness.

Being in a relationship doesn’t always mean that your personal satisfaction and happiness will improve. If we are unhappy while single, it’s very likely that we will carry this same pain and discomfort into our relationships.

5. You can dream and create the life of your desires.

Ask yourself: “If a relationship was not an option in life, how would I spend my time? What would I pursue if I was capable of anything and had no boundaries?” Now chase that! We have one opportunity to experience this wondrous life. Live it doing exactly what you desire.

6. You dictate how your time is spent.

Our daily adventures cumulatively define our life experience, so it’s important to choose to use your time meaningfully. If you’re regularly unhappy in your current routine, something needs to change. Try doing one thing everyday that makes you feel passionate and stirs that beautiful soul of yours.

7. You have friends and family to support you.

There are so many people who love and appreciate you. Take notice of those who have always been by your side supporting and encouraging you. It’s easy to trick yourself into thinking you need a relationship to feel loved, but sometimes you’re just overlooking the love that’s sent to you each and every day.

8. Self-love is the foundation of happiness.  

Your relationship with yourself is important. If you have negative self-talk or toxic thoughts, that will affect your daily experience. It’s important to have a healthy relationship with yourself by praising your achievements, working toward bettering your health, and encouraging your well-being with positive words and thinking patterns.

9. You have endless opportunities and a vast world to explore​.

When was the last time you’ve ventured out of your comfort zone or veered from your typical schedule? Have you pursued that thing you’ve always wanted to try? This world is yours to explore and you have an abundance of opportunities to experience.

10. You are capable of anything.

Your potential to create a robust life for yourself is your greatest strength. With recognition of your worth and capacity, you can live a life that’s endlessly fulfilling regardless of whether or not there’s a him in your life.

Images courtesy of the author.

Contributors from the University of Massachusetts Amherst