February is home to so many important causes. Throughout the month our Facebook newsfeeds are crowded with articles promoting Valentine’s Day, Heart Health across the globe, Eating Disorder Awareness, and so many more worthwhile causes. A cause that often goes overlooked is Teen Dating Violence which is promoted all month long. So while many of you are celebrating a day centered upon the idea of endless love and happy endings, young people all around us are trapped in a relationship they’re scared to get out of.
Organizations all around the globe are spending the entire month of February educating people young and old about the dangers surrounding teen dating violence, sometimes referred to as domestic violence. There are so many people that are completely unaware of the red flags that go along with domestic violence in a relationship. When one thinks of domestic violence, the first thing that typically comes to mind is physical or sexual abuse. However, domestic violence has so many other red flags that people just aren’t used to looking for. Domestic violence oftentimes goes unnoticed because the warning signs aren’t loud and in your face, and don’t become real issues until it’s too late.
To better understand the signs of dating violence and unhealthy relationships, here are some red flags to keep on your radar:
Isolation
Oftentimes, when a person is in an unhealthy relationship, they will start withdrawing from friends and family. That club they were so adamant about joining suddenly becomes uninteresting, family birthday parties now get overshadowed by other events, and going out with friends on a Friday night isn’t as appealing as it once was. Your partner should be supportive and happy of all your accomplishments and look forward to hanging out with your friends and family. It shouldn’t be a competition to see if they can keep you all to themselves.
Verbal Abuse
A relationship doesn’t have to be physically abusive to be considered domestically violent. If your partner is constantly putting you down, diminishing your accomplishments and telling you you’re not worthy, it’s time to get help. If they’re telling you that your outfit makes you look fat, to cover yourself up when they’re not around or that your wants and desires are stupid and ridiculous, it’s time to get help. Although some of these may seem like small things that can easily be overlooked, over time they build and build until some people reach their breaking point. Decreased self-esteem and self-doubt leads to many other problems and is incredibly concerning for friends and family. Your partner should do nothing but lift up your spirits and encourage you to be the best you can be.
Possessiveness
In an unhealthy relationship, it’s easy for people to feel trapped. Statements such as “I would die without you,” or “No one will ever love you like I do,” often make the victims feel like they have to stay. The abuser gets inside of their head and in many cases, makes them believe whatever they’re saying. It’s your partner’s job to make you feel good about yourself and to make you feel comfortable in your relationship, not like you don’t have a way out.
It’s so important to be aware of dating violence signs. Don’t hesitate to help a friend who needs it or to get help yourself if you are experiencing any of these signs in your current relationship. Your partner should make you feel like a better person when you’re around them. They should make you feel worthy, and loved, regardless of the situation.
As many as one in five young people will experience dating violence in their lifetime. You are not alone.
If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence don’t hesitate to contact the following people:
Local:
Counseling Center on campus: (207) 581-1392
Spruce Run: (207) 945-5102
National:
Spruce Run Hotline: 1.800.863.9909
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)