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Sexiquette Every Collegiette™ Needs To Know

Every good girl should know the proper etiquette for all of life’s situations, and sex is no different. There are certain do’s and don’ts that both you and your partner need to adhere to. While you won’t
find a chapter in Emily Post’s book about sexiquette, fear not because your resident Sexpert is here to help you learn how to balance a kama sutra book on your head as you walk naked across the room to your bed.

For you:

Possibly the most important and most basic rule, TIDY UP! And I mean everything. If you know, or think, you will be having a sexual encounter soon make sure to tidy everything up. This ranges from basic hygiene like take a shower, give your vagina a quick rinse with water (no douching necessary), trim up your bikini line, and brush your teeth. If your partner is coming over then give your room and quick pick up and make sure your sheets are somewhat clean. No one wants to get dirty in already dirty sheets. This may sound weird, but if you are going to pick the person up then give your car a quick clean too. Throw out all those old starbucks cups anything that may be littering your floor. You don’t want to come off as too much of a slob.

The second but equally as important rule: PREPARE YOUR BIRTH CONTROL. Whether this is your pill, condom, diaphragm, or whatever method you use, make sure it is effective (i.e. you have been taking your pill regularly or the condom hasn’t expired) and on hand. A note about condoms: as I
mentioned in my post about birth control, ladies should always carry a condom on them. In America we have this stigma that if a girl carries a condom then she is a slut or expecting to get some. This is FALSE. By carrying a condom you are being responsible and taking control of your body and your choices. You don’t want to be caught empty handed.

No biting! Unless he likes it of course, but seriously when giving oral sex to your partner, refrain from biting their genitals (especially during fellatio). This does not feel good because this is a very sensitive area. Before you do any biting, ask your partner first whether or not they enjoy it. Before you do anything you should discuss with your partner both of your likes and dislikes.

Be a good host. Offer your partner water, a towel if clean up is necessary, snacks if it is a particularly long session, and always offer a place to sleep. I know people these days have been more prone to just kick someone out after sex, but truth be told that is very disrespectful. They don’t even have to sleep in your bed if you don’t want them to, they can crash on your couch, but don’t force them to get dressed and go all the way home.

For Him:

Don’t just diddle the clit and expect that to be enough. Us ladies need a lot more than a few seconds of rubbing to get us going. The polite thing for him to do is give you an orgasm, and then proceed with intercourse.

Unless we say it’s ok, don’t go anywhere NEAR the anal region. This is something that should be discussed first because many women are not ok with having their butt touched or played with, at least at first. This is not an area for surprise attacks.

Have condoms with you (and lube is a bonus). It is not solely our responsibility to take charge of birth control. By having a condom on your at all times it shows that you care about us and care about having safe sex, and having lube too just shows you go the extra mile.

Finally, boys also need to be a good host. DON’T be like “The Situation” and order us a cab after we’re done “smushing”. After we are done having a delightful romp in the sheets, offer us some water, a towel for clean up, and a place to sleep. Also, give us some cuddle time. I know guys complain about it, but girls like it and if we just put the effort into sex at least indulge us in a little cuddle action.

As always, be polite and respectful to your partner, practice safe sex, and have fun!
Images from powerfulpills.com, and Emily Post.

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