When I was extremely young, at the beginning of truly learning about the world around me, I was exposed to many unrealistic standards. I very clearly remember a grocery shopping trip with my mom. At the very front of the checkout line were scattered magazines, raving about the latest celebrity gossip. As I picked one up to read it, I was quick to notice big red circles around women’s bodies. The premise of the magazine was to point out every inch of cellulite on celebrities. This way of harshly criticizing women for their looks stuck with me, as it put an idea in my head that I was only supposed to look one way.
As a teenager, I remember being at Sephora. I was trying to find a good foundation, so I asked an associate for help. She immediately said to me “You are so gorgeous, you don’t even NEED makeup.” At the time, I took it as a compliment without thinking twice about it. As I got older, I was discovering that these little sentences really enforce bad ideals. Why were there makeup artists making it sound like makeup is a need instead of a want?
As I kept going through life, I started to notice that society was broken when it came to beauty standards. I thought about even the smallest influences and realized that they make such a huge impact on how we view ourselves. From the magazines we would read, to the TV shows we would watch, and even the toys we would play with pushed an ideal that there was one way to look. Our youth has shaped us to strive for a level of perfection that is simply unattainable. It has made us feel like having breakouts on our skin or extra cellulite isn’t “ideal.”
Luckily, we have been making some progress through our actions, like making dolls of different sizes, races, and heights. There has also been a lot more diverse representation for models on websites for clothing such as Aerie and Target. Although this is the case, we still need to keep moving forward. The media has gotten better at expressing some diversity but is still nowhere close to where we should be by now. I will be truly happy once I see more pictures of models with freckles, acne, and birthmarks. I will be happy to see models of all body types represented everywhere. I want to see diversity throughout my life, because that will show everyone that it’s normal to be outside of one specific standard.
I remember recently watching a Ted Talk by Jackson Katz called “Violence against women- it’s a men’s issue.” He discussed how the way we phrase sentences enforces certain ideas that can be extremely harmful. He uses an example of discussing domestic violence. Instead of saying “Mary is a battered woman,” we need to address that the man is the problem in this instance, and it should be phrased like “John beat Mary.” When emphasizing John in the situation, it reinforces that he is the issue. When his name is pushed aside, like in the first sentence, it makes it so that he doesn’t seem as accountable. He NEEDS to be seen as accountable because he is the perpetrator. I use this example because it emphasizes that the way that ideas are communicated makes a huge impact on a situation. Whenever we say something like “You don’t even NEED makeup” or “Wow, have you lost weight? You look SO good!” it makes people feel like there is a certain standard of beauty that is most desirable to reach. We should be focusing more of our time and words on complimenting one’s character, compassion, strength, and knowledge. By doing this, people will understand how truly important it is to be beautiful on the inside.
We need to be more conscious of the words we say and the actions we take. This is important to learn and teach to generations below us, since they are still growing and adapting to the world. Our words can be so effective, and the world will be a better place if we acknowledge that people can be unique, and that everyone’s unique qualities are special and beautiful.