I’ve always been a bit of a nervous person. I want to know what is happening, how long it will last, and what the outcome will be. For a long time this put me in a box. I was unable to plan super far in advance without some lingering anxiety over my head. I would always push off planning until it was too late (so that I could get out of doing scary things with no determined outcome). For most of my life that’s how I lived, scared to take the first step, scared to make the first move, scared to jump in. As I’ve gotten older, I came to a realization;
If not now, when? If not me, who?
I spent so much time subconsciously thinking the plans for my life just would fall in my lap. But it’s not true. No one is coming to your door with a perfectly laid out plan for your life. And lucky us for that. It is all within our grasp, we just have to go for it. I think the scariest part of it all is taking the initial risk. Booking the plane ticket, finding the adventure, choosing the career path, starting that new hobby, inviting that person from class to lunch, it’s all a risk. Not every risk you take is going to lead you to a fairytale life or leave you feeling content, full, and proud. BUT the majority of those gambles will.
Putting yourself out there is intense, scary, uncertain, and it’s hard. Having the ability to do things spontaneously takes courage, which might not come as easily for some as it does others. But planning is the first step. What comes after is where the beauty starts. I studied abroad over the summer. I was terrified that I wouldn’t know what to do, and in all honesty I didn’t. As I went through the experience I started to realize that no one really knows what they’re doing. It is all about trusting yourself. Since then, I’ve traveled 12 hours by car to see a friend, I’ve booked tickets to new places, I’ve hung out with new people even when I was scared of being rejected, I’ve joined new clubs, I’ve burned bridges and built them too.
Your life belongs to you, it’s your responsibility to make what you want out of it. So if you are thinking about making the first jump. This is your sign.