You have no degree. The little job experience you have is irrelevant to your chosen career field. You’re trying to find a job in a competitive job market filled with real adults more educated and experienced than you are. This might mean you might have to do a little stretching of the truth when writing your resume. There’s no harm in some creative wording if it helps you land a job. Here are some ways to give the items on your resume the little boost they need.
1. If you were a babysitter…
What your resume says: Childcare professional. Maintained a schedule and assisted with daily activities and chores. Organized recreational activities. Prepared and served meals. Resolved conflict.
What you really mean: You watched free Netflix and ate free food on the couch while the kids were glued to iPads, or you gushed with nostalgia over Legos and Barbies while the kids begged to play games on your phone. Occasionally you’d make them PB&J or grilled cheese, or use your adult voice to send one of the kids to time-out.
2. If you were a lifeguard…
What your resume says: Lifeguard. Charged with maintaining order and safety at an outdoor recreation facility. Supervised and maintained constant surveillance of pool and pool deck. Responsible for life-saving duties, including CPR and operation of a defibrillator. Operated concession services on occasion.
What you really mean: You sat in your chair working on your tan in a one-piece, knowing full well your stomach would be lobster red when you switched to a two-piece and tried to even out your tan lines at the beach. Your whistle was used mostly to get kids to stop hanging on the ropes, dunking each other under the water, or running on the pool deck. Sure, you’d seen someone dive in after a kid who couldn’t quite handle the deep end, or you might have even had to use CPR yourself, but it’s likely that the biggest emergency you’ve experienced is when a kid had an “accident” in the pool. Working the concessions meant sitting in a tiny booth and dealing out nachos and candy, while occasionally sneaking a hot pretzel for yourself.
3. If you were a camp counselor…
What your resume says: Camp counselor. Organized recreational and educational activities for children of elementary age. Supervised children, maintained a daily schedule, and resolved conflict.
What you really mean: You sat in the hot sun at a local park with way too many small children to be handled by you and your co-counselor. You played Duck, Duck, Goose hundreds of times and Red Rover thousands of times until a mom complained that her precious angel hurt his wrist. You acted like a small child yourself at times. You occasionally comforted a crying kid who missed his mom or made a group of mean girls in-the-making include another girl in their game. You’d do anything to play a game that included water, but water balloons were banned until the very last day of summer.
4. If you worked in fast food…
What your resume says: Restaurant associate. Handled monetary transactions and provided culinary services in a fast-paced work environment.
What you really mean: You were a cashier at a fast food place. If you were lucky, you were at the register shouting “WHAT?” at customers over the din of the kitchen behind you. If you weren’t, you were stuck suffering minor burns from grease splatters or mopping the back room. On slow days, there was plenty of time to munch on discounted fries and gossip with co-workers about your slave driver of a manager.
5. If you worked in retail…
What your resume says: Customer service and retail professional. Assisted customers in locating products. Took inventory of products. Provided pricing and sizing information. Handled monetary transactions.
What you really mean: You schmoozed and flirted with people of all ages and genders for meager commission. Your main duties were cleaning out the dressing rooms, rehanging items and folding. And folding. And folding. You were constantly cursing customers under your breath for unfolding things you just folded.
6. If you worked a desk job…
What your resume says: Office Assistant. Charged with data entry, phone call transfers and handling of personal information. Maintained inter-office telecommunication system. Maintained security. Answered or referred inquiries.
What you really mean: You did anything from filing and making copies to getting coffee. Mostly getting coffee. You constantly rearranged office materials on the desk to feel productive. You practiced answering the phone in a hundred different ways, maybe in different accents or with different greetings, just to pass the time. You pressed the wrong button on the phone or computer a hundred times a day. You spent the rest of your downtime playing solitaire on an ancient desktop computer.
7. If you did odd jobs…
What your resume says: Personal assistant. Performed various activities including filing, organizing and various other management functions.
What you really mean: You worked for a family friend, or a few family friends and neighbors, who took pity on you in your jobless state. You did pretty much anything they asked of you, from cleaning out the garage to sorting through old letters or mowing the lawn. Most likely this involved free lunch and refreshments.
8. If you will work anywhere…
What your resume says: “My job skills and experience are diverse enough to make me a valuable candidate for any position in any work environment.”
What you really mean: You will literally do anything legal for money. You’d prefer a job with the lowest physical exertion/personal interaction to money ratio, but you would probably clean the monkey cages at the zoo if you got a paycheck.
9. If you got fired…
What your resume says: “I misunderstood directives and expectations from my supervisor.” Or, “My skills and style of working proved to be incompatible with this work environment.”
What you really mean: You messed up, plain and simple. Maybe you swore in front of a kid, or rolled your eyes at one too many customers, or overslept for your morning shift. Again. Either way, some supervisor got sick of dealing with your fake tears and excuses of, “It’s just been such a tough day for me,” and told you to hit the road.
10. If you have no work experience…
What your resume says: “Though I am less qualified than some applicants, I am a fast learner and have a variety of skills I’ve acquired through volunteer work and my education.”
What you really mean: Up until now, you’ve been living off the income from keeping the change from when your parents give you money to run errands for them, or from when your mom and dad both give you money for lunch. Unfortunately, this does not impress employers, and you just want to scream, “PLEASE HIRE ME. How am I supposed to get experience if no one will give me a job because I don’t have any experience?! PLEASE.”
So don’t be discouraged by a sparse resume. Beef it up with some of these suggestions, and get out there. Happy job hunting!